


Crossing Empires

by Yun_1991



Series: (Love is) Timeless [1]
Category: EXO (Band), NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Historical, Ancient China, Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, But also Taeyong got himself into this mess, Character Death, Chinese Mythology & Folklore, FanXing/Kray - sideship, Fantasy, Graphic Description of Corpses, Heavy Angst, I have other unfinished projects I need to do smh, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, King!Ten, M/M, Magic, Non-Linear Narrative, Rape in chapter 9, Screenplay/Script Format, Taeyong doesn't deserve this crap, Ten's a bit of a dickhead, There ! Will ! Be ! Side ! Ships !!!, Time Travel, collegestudent!taeyong, guys chenle is so cute, i wanna squish him bc he's so precious, our first side ship has appeared, signs of a toxic relationship, slow burn kinda??, taeten - Freeform, there's a heavy lack of consent hnngh
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-12
Updated: 2019-12-23
Packaged: 2020-05-01 23:13:51
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 30
Words: 33,877
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19187212
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Yun_1991/pseuds/Yun_1991
Summary: After pissing off the god of time, Taeyong is transported to ancient China. More specifically, he’s been transported to the Period of the Warring States. He doesn’t have the slightest clue how to get back home, much less how to keep himself alive in a country filled with war.And he certainly doesn’t know how on Earth he became a consort to a snooty, entitled king.





	1. ACT 1

**Author's Note:**

> I want to make this very clear: I have centered this fanfic to be put in a certain time and certain place, but for the sake of plot line, I am NOT going to make a big deal for historical accuracy.
> 
> jUST LET ME HAVE MY FUN, I DON'T WANT TO GET HOUNDED FOR THIS ;-;
> 
> This work is inspired off of a sim date game I used to play before I became occupied with school. You guys can go support the creator of the game and play it here: [Where Adabanas Grow](https://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/639241)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 10/27/2019 edit:
> 
> I realize this is late, but I've finally jumped on the band wagon and I did a thing:  
>  [bird account](https://twitter.com/yun19913)

**26 OCTOBER 2019**

 

**TAEYONG** : (Lurches awake, as if someone had pushed him, gasping and shaking uncontrollably)

 

**DOCTOR** : (Looks up from his clipboard to look at **TAEYONG** ) Oh, you’re finally awake! Your family and friends have been extremely worried.

 

**TAEYONG** : (Clutching the front of his hospital gown, still heaving for breath, his body jittery and his voice hoarse) Where… where am I?

 

**DOCTOR** : You’re in the hospital. You’ve been stuck in a coma for a month.

 

**TAEYONG** : (His eyes widen at the information and he can feel his heart sinking) An entire month?

 

**DOCTOR** : (Nods) Right now, your vitals are all good… I’ll come back to check on you later. I promised to call your family and other emergency contacts when you’ve woken up. (He leaves the room)

 

**TAEYONG** : (Looking around his hospital room frantically) No… (His eyes start shimmering with tears) I didn’t have enough time—!

 

~*~

**_1 MONTH EARLIER…_ **

 

**TAEYONG** dares not to look up, even though he so desperately wants to. He keeps his head down, his bangs shielding his eyes. He does not want to show any fear to his captors.

 

A **GUARD** uses the blunt end of his spear to lift his jaw and look at the man on the throne in front of him. The man in the throne is shorter than **TAEYONG** , but he carries himself as if he were an entire head taller than the redhead. He’s dressed in ornate vermilion clothes outlined in gold and black, his face impassive.

 

**GUARD** : (In a harsh, biting yell) ACKNOWLEDGE YOUR **KING** , PRISONER!

 

**TAEYONG** : (Going pale, his brain short-circuiting and he cannot stop stammering) K… **KING**?

 

**KING** : (Holds up his hand) **GENERAL WONG**. Enough.

 

**GENERAL WONG** : (Lowers his spear)

 

**KING** : Where is this foreigner from? (Addressing **TAEYONG** )

 

**TAEYONG** : (Afraid for his life, but manages to calm down into a more coherent state of mind) I-I am from the future.

 

His response is met with silence.

 

Then the **KING** guffaws into laughter.

 

**KING** : (In the midst of uncontrollable laughter) The future? The gods dare play with us while many are stuck starving and fighting in this damned war?

 

**TAEYONG** : I-I am telling the truth! I was running late to my part time job and, and… S-somehow I ran over the **GOD OF TIME** with my car! And he got so angry with me that he punished me and sent me to the past! And he sent me to ancient China, for crying out loud!

 

**KING** : … (Appearing contemplative) You spin an entertaining story, foreigner. Alas, I do not trust those who are not loyal to the Li state. **GENERAL WONG** , send him to the prison barracks at once.

 

**TAEYONG** : (Panicking when he sees **GENERAL WONG** hoist him up on his feet with the chains binding his hands behind his back) STOP, PLEASE! I really did meet the **GOD OF TIME**! He said he has seen the fate of the Li state and he’s told me that you will be swallowed up the Qin state in 30 days!!

 

**KING** : (His eyes darken at the information) **GENERAL WONG**. Bring the foreigner to me.

 

**GENERAL WONG** : Yes, my **KING**. (Brings **TAEYONG** to him)

 

**TAEYONG** : (Fearful as the **KING** studies him)

 

**KING** : If what you say is true… then I will not kill you, so long as you cooperate. Otherwise I will have **GENERAL WONG** torture you to death instead of the more peaceful alternative of dying of starvation in the pits.

 

**TAEYONG** : I swear, I swear! I swear on my father that I am telling you the truth! Please, just let me live, and I will do anything!

 

**KING** : (Smirks) You will supply me with all that you know about the Qin state so that my men will prepare to best counter their efforts.

 

**TAEYONG** : Yes, I can do that—

 

**KING** : Eager, aren’t we? I am not finished.

 

**TAEYONG** : I said I would do anything, so I am!

 

**KING** : (Throws his head back with a sort of sadistic glee) Then you cannot turn back your word. **GENERAL WONG** , send the foreigner to my quarters.

 

**TAEYONG** : Your… quarters? (Paling) Y-you don’t mean—

 

**KING** : Oh, are you having seconds thoughts? Worry not. I promise to be gentle.

 

**TAEYONG** : (Feels his head spinning as he thinks, “Oh god. I’m going to be his whore.”)

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> me: *gets a huge ass burst of inspiration and proceeds to write this story*
> 
> also me: *has like 98365147 other projects she needs to finish*


	2. ACT 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> warning: shit is only going to get heavier from here on out, i suggest those who are sensitive to heavy topics such as death, rape, abuse, etc. leave now while they still have the chance

**SPRING 453 BCE**  

The State of Jin is partitioned off. After its division, three new states rise: the Han, the Zhao, and the Wei.

 

~*~

 

Not even 24 hours passed on his first day in the Li state and **TAEYONG** has gone from prisoner to the **KING** ’s newest consort. Not many people were surprised to hear that the **KING** added someone to his ever-growing harem, and even fewer were surprised to see that the fresh meat was a man.

 

( **TAEYONG** soon learned that the Li state’s **KING** was nicknamed the “Loving King,” because while he loves his people tremendously — yes, shocking — he loves sex just as much. So long as his partner is willing to spread their legs for him, the **KING** would gladly fuck them.)

 

Nine days have passed. And in those nine days, **TAEYONG** has had to endure the **KING** ’s snappy remarks, his abrupt (and often times ridiculous) reasons for wanting to execute someone, and his extremely unpleasant attitude.

 

Oh, and let’s not omit the part where the **KING** has the libido of a herd of rabbits.

 

 **TAEYONG** ’s chains come undone and the **KING** busies himself in preparation for the night’s activities. Silk sheets, the softest mattress he’s ever seen, and a luxurious canopy all grab at **TAEYONG** ’s attention, but instead of awing its splendor, he feels sick to his stomach. He has not been in the palace for long, but he has already forgotten what free will feels like.

 

 **KING** : Strip.

 

 **TAEYONG** : (Quietly strips off the robe he has on)

 

 **KING** : Ah… Obedient, at last. It was a struggle to get you to follow orders.

 

 **TAEYONG** : (His voice is devoid of emotion and he sounds hollow) There is no more use in struggling against the demands from the **KING** of Li.

 

 **KING** : (Barks out a laugh) Come now, you are much less interesting when you speak like one of my subjects. Where is that high and naughty mouth of yours? I wish for it to return.

 

 **TAEYONG** : (Simmering with annoyance and scoffs) You want me to submit to you in bed, but you also want me to openly talk back to you? I can’t believe your fucking nerve! Pray to whatever god you worship that they don’t punish you when you burn in the afterlife. Just leave me alone and let me suffer in peace!

 

The **KING** ’s eyes darken and a shadow of a disappointed frown ghosts his face. Seeing the shift in his face, **TAEYONG** is afraid and he curses at himself for his impulsive words.

 

 **KING** : (Pins **TAEYONG** down onto the bed and wraps his hand around his throat) No, I cannot. But I do not desire you for your foolishness anyhow. (Tightening his grip around **TAEYONG** ’s trachea) Remember your place, _whore_.

 

 **TAEYONG** : (Struggling to breathe, his senses going numb and his eyes start to glisten with tears as he begins to see colors before his vision dulls) P-please…

 

 **KING** : (reveling in **TAEYONG** ’s pain with a sadistic grin) How the tables have turned! Remember, this is your punishment for tricking me into keeping you alive!

 

 **TAEYONG** : (Can feel his tears stream down his cheeks as he places his hands on the **KING** ’s wrists, pleading with him to let go) Was… no trick…

 

 **KING** : Need I remind you of your words? _You_ claimed to come from the future! _You_ claimed to have information from your time deity that would benefit me and my people! _You_ claimed to know of the Qin state’s attacks! _But you have provided none of that!_ Not only will my people die by the end of this month because of you, but you embarrassed me and the rest of the Li successors! Our alliances are as good as gone! (His hold on **TAEYONG** ’s neck turns deadly)

 

 **TAEYONG** : Hrrph…!! (His grip on the **KING** ’s wrists loosens completely and his vision grows darker as his air is cut)

 

 **KING** : (He seems to want to go through with killing **TAEYONG** , but at the last second, he stops himself before the boy dies from asphyxiation)

 

 **TAEYONG** : (Bleary-minded as he takes time to compose himself)

 

 **KING** : Get out.

 

 **TAEYONG** : W-Wuh…?

 

 **KING** : GET OUT!

 

 **TAEYONG** jumps at the outburst, but even in his incoherent state, he dresses himself quickly and promptly leaves the **KING** ’s chambers. He runs back to the eastern quarters where all the other consorts stay, but he runs into someone. A stroke of fear overtakes **TAEYONG** , and he hopes to god that it isn’t **GENERAL WONG**.

 

He’s relieved that the man he ran into is not the towering, intimidating general. But he feels even worse when he sees he bumped into a gentle looking **SCHOLAR**.

 

 **TAEYONG** : I-I’m so sorry for bumping into you! You’ve dropped all your documents and scrolls because of me—

 

 **SCHOLAR** : Oh, please, do not fret about that. (He squats to pick up the scattered papers, then he stands up and helps **TAEYONG** to stand up as well) In fact, may I ask what happened to your neck?

 

 **TAEYONG** : (Opens his mouth to make an excuse, but he closes it; he doesn’t trust himself to make a believable lie to one of the **KING** ’s subject) I…

 

 **SCHOLAR** : You need not tell me if you are uncomfortable, nor do you have to keep your guard up around me. But I will not harm like my **KING** does.

 

 **TAEYONG** : (Swallows thickly) I—…

 

 **SCHOLAR** : Do not worry. Your words are safe with me. While I do serve the **KING** , he is not always kind. (He pauses, contemplative) War destroys more than just kingdoms and lives, for our **KING** was not always this cruel.

 

 **TAEYONG** : … I’m **TAEYONG**.

 

 **SCHOLAR** : Our Majesty’s newest consort, correct? It is a pleasure that we meet. My name is **DONG SICHENG**.

 

 **TAEYONG** : (He smiles for the first time in a while) It’s nice to meet you too…?

 

 **SICHENG** : If we shall call each other by our names, do not concern yourself with something as trivial as titles. I never cared for them.

 

 **TAEYONG** : (His smile grows) Okay. Then it’s nice to meet you, **SICHENG**.

 

 **SICHENG** : (Returns his smile) I hope you will excuse me. I must return to my study room. Please, if you are ever in need of a confidant, do not hesitate to ask for me. My quarters are in the western ward of the palace.

 

The scholar and the consort give each other polite bows before they part ways.

 

The palace is less of a scary place now.

 

~*~

 

Dinnertime at the palace is neither frightening nor enjoyable. **TAEYONG** describes it as tolerable. He enjoys eating at the long dining table since there will never be a shortage of food, but he rather despises how close he must sit next to the **KING**. The other consorts do not envy him. The Li people may see a loving king, but he is not the kind of lover anyone would desire in their bed. And **TAEYONG** has sensed from day one that they are afraid of their own **KING** too.

 

The hand imprints on his neck further uneases his fellow consorts.

 

The others are not warm to **TAEYONG**. He does not blame them. Wartime puts many people on edge, unwilling to put their trust into strangers, refusing to believe whatever they hear or denying what they know to be as truth. Perhaps because he is a foreigner (who comes from the future, as well), they are more reluctant to approach him.

 

That being said, the other consorts are not cold to him either. If **TAEYONG** requests one of them to aide in anything, they will help. Common courtesy is not lost on them.

 

But today is different.

 

 **SICHENG** : (Sees **TAEYONG** sitting in the seat next to the **KING** ’s seat and he he makes his way over to him) **TAEYONG**?

 

 **TAEYONG** : (Looks behind him and smiles gleefully) **SICHENG**!

 

 **SICHENG** : May I join you?

 

 **TAEYONG** : Don’t ask for my permission if your hand is already on the chair next to mine! Please, sit!

 

 **SICHENG** : (Chuckles softly and takes the seat next to him) Truthfully, I should not be sitting here at all. I should be in the next room during suppertime with the other eunuchs.

 

 **TAEYONG** : (His eyes widen in surprise) You are a eunuch? So… you’re…

 

 **SICHENG** : (Still smiling despite **TAEYONG** ’s expression) ‘Twas my punishment… I was meant to become part of the **KING** ’s court of advisors, but the senior members there plotted against me. They framed me and convinced the **KING** that I slept with one of the female consorts and impregnated her. But it‘s not true. She was pregnant with another consort’s child.

 

 **TAEYONG** : Why haven’t you pleaded your case? These are heavy accusations.

 

 **SICHENG** : (Shakes his head) In wartime, the government’s interests waver. Whether it be for corrupt or just reasons, their judgement is clouded with the single objective to survive first, fix later. On top of that, the **KING** is much too occupied with other pressing matters, like rationing what crops we have saved during our prosperity to endure famine. (He turns back to **TAEYONG** and flashes him a smile) I might not ever be able to receive the justice I deserve, but I am one of many who deserve a piece of that justice. This war has gone on far enough. And with my position, as much as I fear our **KING** , I hope I can do my part to help the people of Li.

 

 **TAEYONG** : … (Gingerly touches the hand imprints around his neck) … You’re very strong, **SICHENG**.

 

 **SICHENG** : (Laughs) But not as strong as you. (He’s eyeing the hand prints on **TAEYONG** ’s neck)

 

 **TAEYONG** : (Tears away from **SICHENG** ’s gaze when the banquet doors open and the **KING** takes his place at the head of the table)

 

 **KING** : (Makes eye contact with **SICHENG** once he sits down) Eunuch **DONG** , have you forgotten that this is not the eunuch’s banquet hall?

 

 **SICHENG** : Forgive me, your Majesty. Consort **TAEYONG** invited me.

 

 **KING** : (He gives a stern look at **TAEYONG** but he says nothing) Then shall we feast?

 

The servants dutifully pass through the banquet halls with tea and a wide array of dishes. **TAEYONG** is extremely parched after doing his respective chores in the consort ward as well as the incident earlier today. He reaches for his teacup, only for **SICHENG** to knock the drink out of his hands. **TAEYONG** is about to demand why he did that, only to forget what he was going to do when he sees the eunuch’s face drain of color. **TAEYONG** looks to where the eunuch’s eyes are glued to — one of the consorts is doubled over the table. Her thin body spasms uncontrollably, as if something possessed her.

 

 **SICHENG** : The tea is poisoned!

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yeah, the king's definitely a giant dickhead...


	3. ACT 3

A guard rushes the poor consort girl to the royal **DOCTOR** ’s ward, the **KING** following close behind. The **DOCTOR** examines the girl’s spasming figure and heaves a sad sigh.

 

 **DOCTOR** : She was brought here quickly, but the strength of the poison and its dosage is far out of what I can possibly do to bring her back.

 

 **KING** : **DOCTOR ZHANG** … **YIXING** ge, is there really nothing you can do?

 

 **YIXING** : My Lord, I wish I could. But this poison is too potent. I have no remedy in my collection to heal her. (He touches the girl’s hand gently once her spasming ceases and her body goes still)

 

 **KING** : (Places a kiss on the girl’s warm forehead before she goes cold and he speaks in a small whisper) … May **YIXING** ge take care of you in the afterlife, my dear **JIEQIONG**.

 

 **YIXING** : Your Majesty—

 

 **KING** : (Shakes his head) This space is safe. **YIFAN** ge swore to tell no one. I have already told him who you really are.

 

 **YIXING** : … (He looks cautiously at the tall guard named **YIFAN** , dutifully guarding the door, hesitant)

 

 **YIFAN** : (Flashes **YIXING** an encouraging grin)

 

 **YIXING** : (Nods at him and addresses the **KING** ) **YONG** **QIN** , they targeted her because she was pregnant with a potential heir.

 

 **YONG** **QIN** : (Sighs) I had a feeling. Do you have any idea who might have poisoned her?

 

 **YIXING** : You have a brain, do you not? Who is the most likely suspect for wanting you out of the throne?

 

 **YONG QIN** : (Without missing a beat) Eunuch **DONG**.

 

 **YIXING** : (He nods) It has come to my understanding that he joined you at your banquet hall today?

 

 **YONG QIN** : That fox is scheming something. He was… getting cozy with **TAEYONG**.

 

 **YIXING** : (His turn to sigh) That will make things difficult. **TAEYONG** must think of him to be a saint. Had you been kinder to him when he arrived, I think—

 

 **YONG QIN** : As the **KING** of Li, I demand we move away from this.

 

 **YIXING** : We did not work out of the generosity of the **GOD OF TIME** 's heart for you to destroy it again. He has already bent the rules for you because you messed up once. Do not waste your second chance, Li **YONG QIN**.

 

 **YONG QIN** : … (Sighs) I will… be in my study to process Eunuch **DONG** ’s trial. **YIFAN** ge.

 

 **YIFAN** : My **KING**?

 

 **YONG QIN** : Bring Consort **TAEYONG** to my chambers once the moon’s position is higher than the stars tonight.

 

~*~

 

 **TAEYONG** reluctantly follows **GENERAL WU** to the **KING** ’s chambers. He wishes he was dead right now, to be honest, instead of that poor girl, **JIEQIONG**. His body still aches from his past (unwanted) sexual encounters with the **KING** , and his blood runs cold with fear as he remembers how close to death he was.

 

If only the **KING** had ended him then.

 

 **GENERAL WU** opens the doors to the **KING** ’s chambers for **TAEYONG**. The consort steps inside the obnoxiously elaborate bedroom, dreading what happens next. He feels like emptying his contents out of his stomach when he hears **GENERAL WU** walk away after closing the doors.

 

 **YONG QIN** : Consort **TAEYONG**.

 

 **TAEYONG** : Your Majesty.

 

 **YONG QIN** : (Looks up from his papers) Are you aware of the reputation the precedes Eunuch **DONG**?

 

 **TAEYONG** : He said the senior advisors plotted against him so that he wouldn’t get a spot on the royal advisors committee.

 

 **YONG QIN** : … (Puts his papers down on his desk) Have you ever been curious to know the truth, Consort?

 

 **TAEYONG** : … (Wary) Do you mean now or in general?

 

 **YONG QIN** : (Shrugs indifferently) Whichever you prefer to answer.

 

 **TAEYONG** : I’ve… always thought of myself as an honest person.

 

 **YONG QIN** : Hmph. You mean to tell me you have never spun the truth in some fashion before? Such as exaggerations?

 

 **TAEYONG** : Of course I have—

 

 **YONG QIN** : The concept of truth is a tricky one, Consort. (Stands up from his study desk and makes his way to the balcony, he motions for **TAEYONG** to join him)

 

 **TAEYONG** : (Stands next to the **KING** and looks over the Li state from where he stands) … It’s beautiful.

 

 **YONG QIN** : (Dismisses his comment and continues his point) The truth is in the hands of the person telling it. Human minds can spin a series of events into a story, be it ridiculous or logical. Even just the tiniest of details, for example, an exaggeration, can alter the “truth.” (He looks at **TAEYONG** in the eye) Eunuch **DONG** might have had a spot on the King’s Committee, but he ruined it for himself. The others did not turn against him — they were always skeptical of his motives.

 

 **TAEYONG** : Someone like **SICHENG**? He’s harmless!

 

 **YONG QIN** : Your foolishness to trust in people so easily is why he had you believing in his lies. Dr. **ZHANG** found evidence that Eunuch **DONG** was in contact with the Qin state in order to assassinate me, execute my people, and sell off whatever land he could to rivaling states.

 

 **TAEYONG** : (There’s shock in his eyes and they start to glimmer with tears) … I… didn’t know.

 

 **YONG QIN** : I expected that much. (His eyes tear away from the view of his kingdom and he softens when he sees **TAEYONG** wiping away unshed tears) … Come.

 

 **TAEYONG** : Where—?

 

 **YONG QIN** : (He grabs **TAEYONG** by the wrist and hoists him up to the roof of the palace with ease)

 

 **TAEYONG** : (Wide-eyed and fearful) Y-Your Majesty, is this safe?!

 

 **YONG QIN** : You promised me information about the Qin state’s advances and you not once delivered an ounce of it to me. I lashed at you because I had thought you a liar. (His face darkens again) Are you one?

 

 **TAEYONG** : Y-Your Highness, I can explain—

 

 **YONG QIN** : There are two things I despise in the world, Consort. The first one is assassins. The second… (He corners **TAEYONG** to the edge of the roof and lightly pushes him, but he grabs his wrist before he falls) The second is liars.

 

 **TAEYONG** : I-I promise I can explain!! I said I had information but it’s very little! I only know the exact date and time the Qin forces are going to attack, but I don’t know anything else! I’m sorry! I’m so sorry, I just didn’t want to die—

 

 **YONG QIN** : (He brings **TAEYONG** into his arms and he lets him cry. In an attempt to comfort him, he strokes his hair gently) Are you fond of stories, Consort? (He brings **TAEYONG** to sit in his lap)

 

 **TAEYONG** (Not protesting, his body shaking from fear, and his voice unsteady) Y-yes…?

 

 **YONG QIN** : How old are you, Consort?

 

 **TAEYONG** : T-twenty one.

 

 **YONG QIN** : Hmph. You are older than me and yet you have the mind of a child. (He eyes **TAEYONG** to gauge if there will be any retort or snarky reaction, but he continues on when the consort only curls up to him) I have been evading and cheating assassination attempts since I was nine. Some were made by my own brothers. By the time I was fifteen, I had killed all my siblings with my bare hands. This rooftop we are on right now is where I made a vow to myself to be feared rather be fearful. Hah… after all, it is fear of the rival soldiers pillaging and killing, fear of no security for themselves or their families, fear of dying that assures my people trust in me. Not love. The name they call me — the “Loving King.” Meant to be scornful for my enemies, but the people have amused me by twisting it so it sounds like I love and care for them. In reality, they fear for what they do not know. (He looks at **TAEYONG** through the consort’s bangs) And it is fear that is why you allowed me to embrace you.

 

When night comes, the **KING** escorts **TAEYONG** down from the roof. The consort receives no goodbye, much less an apology for almost killing him a second time.

 

When **TAEYONG** watches the **KING** ’s lean figure retreat back to his chambers, he thinks that the only thing longer than his shadow is his silence.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> by the way, that last line is not mine -- that credit belongs to the creator of Where Adabanas Grow


	4. ACT 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> pls forgive me -- there are most definitely inaccuracies of how the government systems were set up in this fanfic, but i was too lazy to research what they actually were & also, i have an idea where this plot line is going, but it's not super clear to me yet, so go easy on me pls & thank u (´;︵;`)

The whole Li state is shaken up after hearing the news of Eunuch **DONG** ’s assassination attempt. As a result, the people’s morale and unity behind King Li **YONG QIN** grows. The Qin state grows weaker as the war wages on. The Zhao, Wei, and Han states grow stronger, and will continue to as the war drags on.

 

~*~

 

 **TAEYONG** ’s last encounter with the **KING** still lingers in his head. Lately, he has gotten little sleep. Not that he does much for a consort anyway, but given what he’s had to endure the past ten days, the pep in his step has faded and his strength continues to deplete. The other consorts have taken notice, and **TAEYONG** sees a shift in the way the treat him. Instead of seeing their usual uncertainty in their eyes, **TAEYONG** feels like they are finally welcoming him into their group.

 

 **MALE CONSORT** : Are you okay, Consort **TAEYONG**?

 

 **TAEYONG** : I’m just… exhausted.

 

 **FEMALE CONSORT** : “Exhausted” is putting it lightly. You look like you have been deprived from food and rest for days.

 

 **TAEYONG** : Thank you for your concern, but I promise I’m okay.

 

 **MALE CONSORT** : Those are the words of a liar.

 

 **FEMALE CONSORT** : And not a very good one.

 

 **TAEYONG** : (Smiles tiredly) Am I in trouble with the senior consorts for not being in top tier health?

 

 **MALE CONSORT** : Ah, stop with the jokes. Come on, let’s have some tea and snacks together. Then we can drag you to your bedroom once you feel sleepy.

 

 **FEMALE CONSORT** : (Giggles) My name is **MEIQI** , by the way. **MENG MEIQI**. (She bows politely to **TAEYONG** ) And this is **XUKUN**. (She gestures to the **MALE CONSORT** )

 

 **XUKUN** : (Bows to **TAEYONG** as well)

 

 **TAEYONG** : (Smiles back awkwardly when they bow to him) Nice to meet you.

 

 **MEIQI** : Shall we go enjoy tea together?

 

From a distance, King **YONG QIN** watches as **MEIQI** , **XUKUN** , and **TAEYONG** all head to the kitchen to prepare some tea and snacks. The king pays them no more mind once they return to the consort quarters to eat, drink, and talk merrily amongst themselves.

 

 **YIFAN** : My **KING** , are you perhaps distracted?

 

 **YONG QIN** : (Waves his hand dismissively, his eyes not leaving the letter he is writing) What do you want, ge?

 

 **YIFAN** : (Chuckles and steps forwards, despite his nonverbal order) It would lighten your heart greatly if you were, say, to not be so cruel to a certain foreign consort?

 

 **YONG QIN** : (He puts down his brush into its ink well and looks at his general) You are beginning to sound like **YIXING** ge. Has our royal doctor begun to melt your cold city boy heart?

 

 **YIFAN** : (Though he blushes and is caught off guard, he composes himself before **YONG QIN** can make any witty retort) Well, at least it is no secret between **DOCTOR ZHANG** and I regarding how we feel towards one another.

 

 **YONG QIN** : What are you implying, general?

 

 **YIFAN** : You need to make a goddamn choice, Your Majesty!

 

 **YONG QIN** : (He is shocked to hear **YIFAN** raise his voice at him — not because it is a loyal subject scolding his king, but as an older brother reprimanding his younger brother) What the hell do you want me to do?

 

 **YIFAN** : Do _not_ , I beg you, **YONG QIN** , _do not_ dodge the subject. This is about you. Do you want to stay here for the rest of your life dealing with complex politics to protect a few thousand people? Or do you want to actually make yourself happy for once?

 

 **YONG QIN** : You know how I am going to answer that!

 

 **YIFAN** : You do not belong here!

 

 **YONG QIN** : (His knuckles grow white at **YIFAN** ’s outburst and his blood runs eerily cold. He turns to look at him, a murderous glint shielding the hurt in his eyes)

 

 **YIFAN** : (In a quieter voice) Go home, **YONG QIN**.

 

 **YONG QIN** : …

 

The **KING** is quiet for a bit. Then he starts to chuckle lowly. Then it slowly progresses into a wolfish howl until the **KING** ’s laughter borders on hysterics.

 

 **YONG QIN** : Fuck! You humor me, **GENERAL WU**! Tell me — What home would I be able to return to? No family would want a bloodthirsty, scheming maniac for a son. (He grips the edge of his study desk, a slab of wood potentially breaking off from how tightly he holds it) I don’t even remember my name!

 

A knock sounds at the door.

 

 **GENERAL WONG** : (His voice is muffled, but it does not go unnoticed because of a door) My **KING**?

 

 **YIFAN** and **YONG QIN** exchange glances before the older general lets his junior inside of the king’s chambers

 

 **YONG QIN:** What is it, **YUKHEI**?

 

 **YUKHEI** : Senior Advisor **KUN** has informed me that Eunuch **DONG** ’s trial will start tomorrow.

 

 **YONG QIN** : So all the evidence has been gathered?

 

 **YUKHEI** : Yes, my Lord.

 

 **YONG QIN** : And **KUN**? How is he taking it?

 

 **YUKHEI** : (Lets out a heavy sigh) To make a long story short… he despises himself right now and he is blaming himself for this.

 

 **YONG QIN** : I expected that to be the case.

 

 **YUKHEI** : What shall we do then?

 

 **YONG QIN** : I want him to be suspended from overseeing Eunuch **DONG** ’s trial. **KUN** cannot keep coddling him forever. (He pauses, bites the inside of his lip, then sighs again before speaking) He could not have predicted this was how **SICHENG** would turn out. **KUN** ge has done everything and more to help him. It is nobody’s fault but **SICHENG’** s for his own downfall.

 

 **YUKHEI** : I will gather the Royal Council tomorrow morning to prepare for the hearing.

 

 **YONG QIN** : **YUKHEI**.

 

 **YUKHEI** : Yes, Your Majesty?

 

 **YONG QIN** : Allow the Li people to watch the trial tomorrow. They must see for themselves what happens to traitors.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> trust me, nobody hates myself more than me for making winwin the bad guy here, my poor bby :"(


	5. ACT 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay seriously, whoever ignored my warning back in like chapter 2, do not say i didn't warn you. shit is JUST starting to hit the fan

**THE BATTLE OF JINYANG — 453 BCE**

 

The Wei and Han states have aligned themselves with the Zhi state to eliminate the Zhao state, only for the Wei and Han to switch sides in the midst of the battle. The Zhi state is annihilated instead. For the next 50 years, the three victors dare not to take out their opponents. They are all too well-rounded and prepared for another attack.

 

~*~

 

Conspiring against the Li kingdom.

 

Treason.

 

And an assassination attempt on the King of Li.

 

Those are the three charges against **SICHENG**.

 

The people of Li have been buzzing about the eunuch’s upcoming trial. Pretty much all of the villagers are eager to see a traitor be brought to justice, and a select vocal few want to see the man in question burn even after he’s dead. **TAEYONG** is actually surprised to see that some of the more reserved, quieter consorts in the ward are also engaged on this topic.

 

But **TAEYONG** has mixed feelings about it. On one hand, **SICHENG** was the first person who was kind to him and treated him with respect, unlike a certain rude **KING** , when nobody else approached him. Yet that certain rude **KING** did make a good point about how we see truths, and **TAEYONG** learned in the span of one day that **SICHENG** is kind, but he is also cunning and not hesitant to kill.

 

It’s just before noontime, which means **SICHENG** ’s public trial is about to take place very soon. Everyone and their mother is heading to the main square plaza, but **TAEYONG** goes in the opposite direction back to the palace. He doesn’t know where his feet take him until he’s wandered to the front doors of the royal library. **TAEYONG** is not really in a reading mood, but with the way things are right now, anything seems better than hearing **SICHENG** ’s guilty conviction.

 

 **TAEYONG** makes his way deep into the royal library and opens up the first scroll he sees. He silently thanks the **GOD OF TIME** for at least giving him complete fluency of old Chinese, even if he could’ve been a (bigger) douchebag about it and left **TAEYONG** to fend for himself.

 

Now he’s by no means a history buff, but some of the information **TAEYONG** picks up on in the scrolls is inconsistent with what he’s learned in his classes. It leaves him rather puzzled, but doing almost anything else sounds like a better option than watching **SICHENG** ’s trial.

 

He doesn’t realize that he’s not alone in the library.

 

 **SENIOR** **ADVISOR** : (Walking through the halls absentmindedly, but he snaps out of it when he sees **TAEYONG** ) Consort **TAEYONG**? Is that you?

 

 **TAEYONG** : (He jumps at the new voice and he looks behind him) H-hi, I’m sorry, am I in your way?

 

 **SENIOR** **ADVISOR** : No, no! (Shakes his head) I was just surprised to see you in the library. Everybody else went to the Grand Hall to witness **SICHENG** ’s — I mean… Eunuch **DONG** ’s trial…

 

 **TAEYONG** : … (He folds up the scroll he was looking at, sadness in his eyes) What’s your name?

 

 **SENIOR** **ADVISOR** : **KUN**. **QIAN** **KUN**.

 

 **TAEYONG** : (Nods) I’ve heard of you. Consort **XUKUN** told me that you and **SICHENG** were close.

 

 **KUN** : (He sighs tiredly) Yes, he’s a very dear _didi_ to me. That… is why the **KING** suspended me from weighing in on his judgement. I have no protests about it — I know I would only skew it. (There’s a resignedness in his eyes) But I do not wish to dwell on the bad. **SICHENG** was — _he still is_ a good person. Perhaps a bit rash, but he has good intentions. In fact, I heard **SICHENG** was attached to you, despite not knowing you for long.

 

 **TAEYONG** : (His smile comes out strained) I guess you really can’t trust anyone during wartime.

 

 **KUN** : … **SICHENG** and I… grew up apart, but our families were close. On foot, it took about three days to reach his village, but I always had a home within his family and he in mine. We had dreams and ambitions to rule justly in positions of power, to alleviate any pain and suffering for common people like ourselves. (He sighs again) I… do not remember when he changed, but the **SICHENG** in front of all the people of Li now is not the **SICHENG** I grew up with.

 

 **TAEYONG** : You must really care for him.

 

 **KUN** : Of course. We may not share the same family name or blood, but he is my younger brother. I just wish there was more I could have done more for him…

 

 **TAEYONG** : (Shakes his head) I think you did everything and more for him. Nobody could’ve figured out this was how things were going to turn out.

 

 **KUN** : (He laughs humorlessly) Then why do I feel responsible?

 

 **TAEYONG** : I think it’s natural to feel that. You wanted to be there for **SICHENG** and I’m sure he acknowledges that. But there’s only so much you could have done. What **SICHENG** did… I’m sure it was shocking to everyone and he must have known about the consequences… but in the end, he made his choice. I wish things had turned out differently, but we can’t turn back time.

 

 **TAEYONG** internally curses at the **GOD OF TIME** in his head.

 

 _We can’t do it, but_ you _can._

 

 **KUN** : … Your words give me comfort, Consort. (He manages a genuine, albeit small, smile) It actually baffles me, but I am delighted by it — you are already very beautiful, but also very wise. If only you were born a woman, you would have become a potential candidate to marry our **KING** and become the tenth Queen of Li. (He looks towards a window, a distant look in his eyes) Perhaps we would have been the only kingdom living in peace instead of participating in this bloodbath.

 

 **KUN** bows politely to the redhead and they part ways. His last words ring in **TAEYONG** ’s ears.

 

He thinks nothing of it afterwards.

 

~*~

 

The Li people are delighted and chant their **KING** ’s name once **SICHENG** is found guilty on all three charges. The **KING** is sitting in an ornate throne as he oversees the trial. **GENERAL WU** reads out the eunuch’s punishment, though nobody is surprised to hear it.

 

 **YIFAN** : **DONG SICHENG**. After reviewing the evidence, **KING LI YONG QIN** has decreed that you will pay your crimes with your life tomorrow at dawn. Our **KING** has given you mercy. The council of senior advisors voted to publicly execute tonight. But His Majesty has allowed you time to say goodbye to your loved ones before you leave this Earth.

 

 **YONG QIN** can feel the judgements and criticisms from his senior advisors’s frustrated glares. But he does not waver in his decision. He looks over at the now former Eunuch **DONG**. His eyes do not hold regret for how the consequences of his actions lead to his downfall. Instead, **YONG QIN** sees regret that **SICHENG** has let down the only older brother he ever had.

 

 **YONG QIN** then glances in the direction of where the consorts’s ward is. He sees a certain foreign consort linger at the threshold of the Grand Hall. Curiosity seemed to have finally gotten the better of him. A hurt expression crosses sharp, yet soft features. **YONG QIN** can’t hear him, but he sees his plush lips move slightly. He thinks he’s mouthing something to **SICHENG** , so he turns back to the eunuch. But when he looks back, he realizes **TAEYONG** is looking at him.

 

~*~

 

 **TAEYONG** , after ten days in the Li kingdom, has finally learned the **KING** ’s name at the end of Eunuch **DONG** ’s trial.

 

~*~

 

 **TAEYONG** gets no sleep later that night. It's impossible to get any with the way the Li people take out their frustrations, anger, and fear out on **SICHENG** , calling him a traitor and demanding his death be made public in broad daylight, instead of confined to the private hours of dawn when few would be awake.

 

 _It’s sickening_ , **TAEYONG** thinks. _Holding a public trial like that. And then the reaction from the people?_ _Just disgusting_.

 

The night dew from the garden smells sweeter tonight. It’s one of his favorite places to walk around. Nobody bothers him — no **KING** , no fellow consorts (they are nice people, but **TAEYONG** still feels a hesitance from them since he’s a foreigner), nobody except for the guards, who are dutifully keeping watch of the kingdom and have little interest in someone taking a walk around the kingdom halls, to disturb him during an evening stroll.

 

 **TAEYONG** suddenly hears a heartbroken, shrill scream. Fear courses through his body and he’s ready to run back to the consorts’s ward, but one question stops him.

 

“ **SICHENG** , what have they done to you?!”

 

It’s **KUN**. **KUN** ’s voice pulls him and he’s running through the maze of flowers and foliage to reach the heart of the garden, where he finds the senior advisor crying into his hands. Two golden dragons entangle each other with open mouths. The water is released from their mouth. Except a spear is planted in between the dragons. And blood slowly collects at the blade and drips down, tainting the clear water a sickeningly pretty pink.

 

 **TAEYONG** wills himself not to throw up, the sweet scent having grown exponentially and it’s assaulting his nose. He looks up slowly.

 

On top of the dragons’s heads, sitting on the spear's blade, is **SICHENG** ’s severed head.

 


	6. ACT 6

 

**403 BCE**

 

The Zhou court, weak as it is, has finally recognized the Han, Zhao, and Wei States. Historians have argued about the true start of the Warring States period, but many, including Sima Guang, point this year as the official start the Warring States era

 

~*~

 

 **XUKUN** : Consort **TAEYONG** , are you certain that you do not want to return to the ward and get some sleep?

 

 **TAEYONG** : (Shakes his head) I’m—

 

 **XUKUN** : If you say one more time that you feel fine, I am sweet talking one of the guards into tying you to a bed so you can rest.

 

 **MEIQI** : Please keep your fantasies in the bedroom, **XUKUN**. **TAEYONG** has had to deal with too much already.

 

 **XUKUN** : _Jie_! First of all, there was absolutely no need to embarrass me like that—!

 

 **MEIQI** : I am certain the rest of the consort’s court beg to differ.

 

 **XUKUN** : (Makes a small noise of complaint) Ugh… Second of all! **TAEYONG** refuses to get more rest! It has already been two days and he has not slept a wink since—!

 

 **TAEYONG** : _Don’t_.

 

(The harshness in **TAEYONG** ’s tone silences the other two consorts. Rarely does **TAEYONG** ever speak to them, or anybody, like that.)

 

 **TAEYONG** : … I don’t want to talk about it. Not when I see it every time I close my eyes.

 

The night **SICHENG** ’s head was discovered on top of the fountain, **KUN** had to temporarily be removed from the court so he could recover from the trauma. **TAEYONG**  suffered through nightmares so intense that **GENERAL** **WU** had to escort him to one of the guest rooms to not disturb the other consorts.

 

As for King **YONG QIN** , he ordered a kingdom-wide search to find **SICHENG** ’s murderer once the guards alerted him of his untimely death. The culprit, as it had turned out, was a radical, delusional villager who believed he was doing the kingdom a favor by executing **SICHENG** sooner rather than later, claiming that **SICHENG** might have been plotting to escape the Li state or attempting to assassinate the king once more while he still had time. That villager’s public trial was overseen by the **KING** only. Though they were present, the court of senior advisors were forbidden from giving their input on the matter. Not that there would have been anyone dissenting with the **KING** ’s judgement for this trial anyway.

 

 **TAEYONG** can remember every single detail of the trial, down to when the exact second the sun rose its highest, and also when the **KING** himself drew out his sword and pierced the villager through his stomach, twisting his blade at the smallest angles and greedily drinking up his cries of pain and pleas for no more. **TAEYONG** , surprised at himself, also enjoyed seeing the villager suffer. It was retribution for **SICHENG**. For **KUN**.

 

The **KING** humored the poor villager. He pulled out his sword, now drenched in thick, still warm blood. If anyone had blinked, they would have been spared from seeing the **KING** behead **SICHENG** ’s murderer. It was an unsightly, primal shower of blood. The actual severing was messy, sections of tissue longer than others and blood vessels bursting and shrinking after its separation from the body. Yet the **KING** held the villager’s head by his hair high, displaying it all for the Li people to see.

 

It was hideous, if you ask **TAEYONG**. The villager’s head was conscious for long enough that his audience witnessed him draw his last breath, but not long enough for them to accept it had happened. Did he really just die at the **KING** ’s hand?

 

As for **YONG QIN** , his white robes were now dyed red from his victim’s blood. The base of the neck was still dripping, and the **KING** ’s bottoms were warm. In an authoritarian voice, he held the head higher and his voice boomed.

 

 **YONG** **QIN** : I am not a tyrant.

 

He was met with silence. Uncomfortable, tension-filled silence. The **KING** continues his speech.

 

 **YONG** **QIN** : I am punishing the man who robbed one of my advisors the chance to say goodbye to his brother, as despicable as his crimes may have been. This man thought he was doing me a favor? My people are here to work and toil for the kingdom, not involve themselves by dipping their hands in blood! Not only will advisor **QIAN** never be able to say “I love you” to Eunuch **DONG** one last time, he will forever be haunted by his vengeful, restless spirit. I showed **DONG SICHENG** mercy, because he, like all of you, had someone dear to his heart. Loudly, boastfully murdering a criminal and passing it off as an act of righteousness? If he was sincere in his words, he would have respected my integrity as a ruler! Or at least spared Eunuch **DONG** from torture. **SICHENG** ’s death was supposed to be peaceful, and as quiet as possible. You lot want peace? Then let me lead with peace, even with death! Not this barbaric show of torture!

 

 **TAEYONG** remembered how the **KING** ’s words spurred the remorse in their past behavior. Even the senior advisors who were adamantly pushing for **SICHENG** ’s execution to happen as soon as possible began to mourn for him.

 

 **YONG QIN** cleaned his sword and returned it to its sheath. **GENERAL WONG** took the sword away from him and **GENERAL WU** gave a light, outer layer for the **KING** to wear on top of the blood-stained garments. The **KING** thanked them both with a nod.

 

 **YONG QIN** locked eyes with **TAEYONG** after he dismissed the Li people from the plaza. Wordlessly, the **KING** gestured to the remains of **SICHENG** ’s murderer’s body, as if to say “See? The people listen to me because they fear me.”

 

_No. They just listen to you._

 


	7. ACT 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> let's take a break from all the angst, shall we?

 

 **YIFAN** : (He enters the medicinal ward and removes the heavy outerwear of his armor and places it on an empty bed) **DR. ZHANG**?

 

 **YIXING** : To what do I owe this visit, **GENERAL WU**?

 

 **YIFAN** : (He shrugs) I suppose I just wanted to talk to somebody.

 

 **YIXING** : About the war?

 

 **YIFAN** : About our king.

 

 **YIXING** : _Your_ king.

 

 **YIFAN** : (He chuckles) My king.

 

 **YIXING** : (In a teasing voice) You know you are just asking for misfortune for gossiping about your superior, right? (Turns away to crush some herbs up in a mortar and pestle)

 

 **YIFAN** : Let it come. A little misfortune cannot be as bad as witnessing **YONG QIN** decapitate **SICHENG** ’s murderer publicly.

 

 **YIXING** : (He ceases crushing up his herbs and he turns to look at the general) So he really did it?

 

 **YIFAN** : Senior advisor **QIAN** was devastated after Eunuch **DONG** ’s sudden death. And consort **TAEYONG** seemed traumatized also.

 

 **YIXING** : … Wartime always destroys the best of us, it seems.

 

 **YIFAN** : You appear unaffected by it.

 

 **YIXING** : You give me too much credit. I am merely numb after witnessing all the ways the human body can die off.

 

 **YIFAN** : Yet strength has found you amidst the tragedy.

 

 **YIXING** : … I feel powerless that I cannot help more people, **YIFAN**.

 

A pair of arms suddenly wrap around **YIXING** ’s torso. The embrace is strong, yet gentle enough that **YIXING** can break away if he so wishes. **YIFAN** rests his chin on the doctor’s shoulder, his lips brushing against the shell of **YIXING** ’s ear. The general’s voice is husky, but there’s a soft rasp to it that makes **YIXING** shudder.

 

 **YIFAN** : You stepped up to treat others affected by the war. You are a doctor, but also a pillar of emotional and mental support for the people who fought in battle, for victims who did nothing wrong but were still attacked because they were born on the opposite side of the border. I know nothing of the toll it has taken on you, but you are so strong, **YIXING**. You may not think so, but if I could lend you my eyes so you can see what I see, then I would do it in a heartbeat.

 

 **YIXING** sighs blissfully at his comforting words. He leans into **YIFAN** ’s touch for a moment longer, and the general obliges. They stay like that for a few more moments before **YIXING** reluctantly breaks away.

 

 **YIXING** : Thank you for saying all that. I loathe cutting our conversation short, but I must check up on senior advisor **QIAN** and consort **TAEYONG** ’s mental states.

 

 **YIFAN** : It is difficult to get a moment alone with you these days.

 

 **YIXING** : Speak for yourself, General. You have too many suitors to count.

 

The doctor leaves the medicinal ward with a slight pep to his step. **YIFAN** grins and puts back his outer gear, then makes his way back to his post to guard the **KING** ‘schambers.

 


	8. ACT 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> * In Korea, a baby's first birthday is known as doljanchi (돌잔치). One of the most significant parts of doljanchi is a fortune telling custom known as doljabi (돌잡이). Certain items are laid out on a table and the baby is encouraged to pick among the objects. Each object has a special meaning to them. In (story) Taeyong's case, he said he picked the calligraphy brush, meaning he would excel in his studies. In today's times, a pencil or a pen might be used instead to represent the ability to excel in one's study for the doljabi.

**344 BCE**

 

The title of “king” was held by the Zhou rulers, but they had no real authority. Individual states were ruled by dukes or marquesses, until the rulers of the Qi and Wei states recognized each other as kings. There were exceptions before this time: King Wu of the Chu state used this title in 703 BCE, and King Feng of the Li state was given the royal title with the people’s support in 453 BCE.

 

~*~

 

 **YIXING** : You have been reading quite a lot these days, Consort.

 

 **TAEYONG** : (He doesn’t look up from his scroll) I’ve always enjoyed reading. *In my home country, on a baby's first birthday, we decide our own fate with a fortune telling tradition. There's a table that has a bunch of things scattered on it and each item meant something that would determine the baby's life. I picked the calligraphy brush, which meant I would grow up to be good in my studies. But sad to say that I'm only an average student, and I hate studying.

 

 **YIXING** : (He chuckles softly) How well you do in school is not the only factor for measuring intelligence. Everybody is gifted in other ways, and you are no different. In fact, I heard from **GENERAL** **WONG** that you enjoy dancing.

 

 **TAEYONG** : (He takes a break from reading and his eyes flit to the doctor gleefully) I _love_ dancing. I don’t think I’m very good at it, but my brothers and sister always encouraged me to keep at it.

 

 **YIXING** : They sound wonderful.

 

 **TAEYONG** : Mhm. I’m really close with all my siblings. And my parents too. I… miss them so much.

 

 **YIXING** : (He frowns sympathetically) You will see them again.

 

 **TAEYONG** : (He laughs, but it sounds empty) I doubt it. I have no idea how long I’m here for…

 

 **YIXING** : (He pats the consort’s hand gently, then changes the subject) Actually, I, too, enjoy dancing. If not for the war, I think I would have pursued it.

 

 **TAEYONG** : I hope we can dance together sometime. I would like to see you perform.

 

 **YIXING** : (He gives him a tender smile) I would like that very much. (He pauses, then he shifts a little bit so that he can look at **TAEYONG** in the eye) It has… been a day since the trial. Do you feel differently today?

 

 **TAEYONG** : (He folds up the scroll he was reading and returns **YIXING** ’s gaze) The same. I still… I still see h-him in my dreams.

 

 **YIXING** : Eunuch **DONG**?

 

 **TAEYONG** : Yes. Well—no, it’s more like… I see… his… (He sighs tiredly) His…

 

 **YIXING** : Are you referring to the night when you and senior advisor **QIAN** discovered Eunuch **DONG** ’s…?

 

 **TAEYONG** : (He nods) … Two weeks into my stay and all I’ve become a lesser version of a sex object to King **YONG** **QIN**. And one of the only friends I have ever made is dead.

 

 **YIXING** : … There is no good service to be received gossiping about a dead man, but… Eunuch **DONG** still committed a grave crime. Although, it was peculiar — no one can deny that he was fond of you, I am not sure why. Perhaps he was planning to use you as an accomplice for his crime, had he lived and gotten away with the failed poisoned tea. Maybe he really did consider you a friend and wished for you to not be involved. We will never know. But keep in mind, consort, you two were only acquainted for a day. I would hardly call you two “friends.”

 

 **TAEYONG** : I never took you as the cynical type, **DR. ZHANG**.

 

 **YIXING** : Neither do I. I try to be as optimistic as I can. (He stands up from where he was sitting on the edge of **TAEYONG** ’s bed) However, war twists and distorts even the purest of souls. Cynicism does not discriminate. Our **KING** is proof of that.

 

 **TAEYONG** : (His ears prick up) What do you mean?

 

 **YIXING** : Are you aware of the history surrounding the Li state?

 

 **TAEYONG** : I’m not. I’ve been reading about the history of the Spring and Autumn periods though.

 

 **YIXING** : Oh, perfect. That leads to the Li state’s history. Do you know of the Battle of Jinyang?

 

 **TAEYONG** : That’s how the Zhi state came to an end and how the Han, Zhao, and Wei came to power.

 

 **YIXING** : (He smiles so fondly at **TAEYONG** that his dimples show) Yes. The three Jin states.

 

 **TAEYONG** : What about it?

 

 **YIXING** : Well… (His smile grows and he looks at the unkempt pile of scrolls laying about on the nightstand, then he carefully pulls one deep among the other papers) It is recorded here, that after after the three Jins rose in the spring, three friends from the state of Han retired from the life of a lowly foot soldier. They ran away, establishing the state of Li from nothing but the clothes on their backs, families and friends who did nothing but support them along the way, and their will to live in peace. The people named one of the former Han soldiers, Li Feng, to lead them. And that is how he became the first king of Li.

 

 **TAEYONG** : Sounds like a fairy tale.

 

 **YIXING** : (He remains silent, his expression solemn) For… the most part it was. King Feng was still pursued by assassins and political enemies. Some other states even went so far as to scorn the state of Li for sheltering prisoners of war for other states. Recently, the state of Qin has become very fervent to take away the land.

 

 **TAEYONG** : But why?

 

 **YIXING** : I… am not sure. If I had a guess, it would be for a greater vision that I do not understand.

 

 **TAEYONG** : … (He studies **YIXING** ’s standing figure) Then why don’t I believe you?

 

 **YIXING** : Pardon?

 

 **TAEYONG** : You know something, don’t you, **DR. ZHANG**?

 

 **YIXING** : (He opens his mouth to speak, but he closes it against his better judgment. Instead, he gives **TAEYONG** a small smile) That is a conversation for another time, Consort. (He arranges the scrolls in a neat pile) Please excuse me, for I must check on senior advisor **QIAN**. But do not hesitate to call for me should you need something. **GENERAL WU** will inform me and I will come running.

 

The doctor bows politely and leaves the consort’s ward. **TAEYONG** sighs and closes up the scroll in his hands, then regrettably messes up what **DR. ZHANG** had cleaned up in favor of reading something that wasn’t history related.

 

Folklore, he decides, has never led him astray. **TAEYONG** drinks up myths and legends of other countries like water, and Chinese folklore has a cornucopia of stories that overflow graciously for him. He opens the first scroll — it’s titled “The Eight Immortal Beings of China.”

 

The first one he reads about is Zhang Guolao, whose wine is said to have the power to heal anything.

 


	9. ACT 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> T/W: RAPE
> 
> There will be a notice of when the rape scene appears. If you do not feel comfortable reading it, I STRONGLY ENCOURAGE YOU SKIP IT. There will be a notice of the rape scene ending, so that you are not stripped from the plot of the story.
> 
> While I did write this rape scene, I want to make it very clear that I despise acts of unwanted sexual advances. Truthfully, it pained me to write this (and as I'm here writing this T/W, my body is shaking because it really sucked having to write this), I wrote this not in support of rape, but to paint a picture of how despicable this character is. This is all just a work of fiction, and I really doubt the members of NCT would actively and knowingly engage in something so low.
> 
> Anyway, enough of my ranting. Please enjoy this update!

 

**356 BCE to 338 BCE**

 

The Qin State’s Prime Minister, Shang Yang, implements new policies that lead to the state’s prosperity.

 

In other words, the Qin state is raising an army.

 

~*~

 

 **YONG QIN** : (He’s overlooking the reports sent to him from his senior advisors) … (He lets out a tired sigh) **YIFAN** ge.

 

 **YIFAN** : What is it, **YONG** **QIN**?

 

 **YONG** **QIN** : Has **YIXING**  ge given you an update about **KUN** ge? I feel like it has been impossible for me to work without my right hand.

 

 **YIFAN** : It has only been two days after the last time you asked me, my liege. He is coping, but still nowhere near well enough to advise you with a clear head.

 

 **YONG** **QIN** : … (He bridges his hands together, his elbows perched on the study desk as he rests his chin on top of his fingers) Bring Consort **TAEYONG** into my study.

 

 **YIFAN** : May I ask what for, Your Highness?

 

 **YONG** **QIN** : A word about the Qin state’s plans.

 

 **YIFAN** bows to his **KING** obediently before he leaves the study. He marches into the consort’s ward, ignoring the way some of the other consorts shamelessly flirt and sweet talk him. Some of them are a bit more assertive, like Consort **XUKUN** , much to the general’s annoyance. He’s just counting the seconds down until his break time so he can visit a soft-spoken doctor.

 

Thankfully the crowd of consorts trailing behind him start to disperse when they catch on that the general is heading towards consort **TAEYONG** ’s room.

 

 **YIFAN** : Consort **TAEYONG**?

 

 **TAEYONG** : (He closes the scroll in his hands and looks up) **GENERAL** **WU**? What’s wrong?

 

 **YIFAN** : The **KING** requests your presence in his study.

 

 **TAEYONG** grips the ends of the scroll a little tighter, his knuckles growing a pasty white. Then he unclenches the paper and sets it down on his bed. He feels the other consorts staring at him. Having the **KING** call over a consort after not seeing them for a few days was rare. When the **KING** stopped requesting for someone, he got bored of them, unless they were particularly beautiful or skilled in bed, but the **KING** would have to run into one of the many consorts bustling about in the palace to be bothered for another quickie. That’s just how things were. And quite frankly, **TAEYONG** hasn’t been called back to any of his chambers since that day the **KING** almost killed him a second time.

 

He feels his legs start to feel like jelly, but not once does he stop **GENERAL** **WU** to slow down from his unwanted fate.

 

 **YIFAN** : (He opens the door to the **KING** ’s study, then gestures to **TAEYONG** to please enter)

 

 **TAEYONG** : (He bows to **GENERAL** **WU** in thanks and enters the study. His heart sinks and the bile rises to his throat once he hears the doors close behind him and **GENERAL** **WU** ’s footsteps grow quieter. He forces the bile down his throat) You wanted to see me, Your Majesty?

 

 **YONG** **QIN** : … What do you know about the Qin state?

 

 **TAEYONG** : That they have been quiet throughout the time we have been in wartime.

 

 **YONG** **QIN** : If I wanted to know about everything you read the past few days while you were cooped in your room, I would have consulted the scrolls in the archives.

 

 **TAEYONG** : (He folds his arms against his chest and scowls) Then why don’t you?

 

 **YONG** **QIN** : You said you knew when they would attack the Li state, did you not?

 

 **TAEYONG** : I did.

 

 **YONG QIN** : So?

 

 **TAEYONG** : So what?

 

 **YONG QIN** : Am I speaking with a toddler? When the hell should we expect Qin forces?

 

 **TAEYONG** : (He balls his hands into fists) Maybe if you had asked me that the moment I arrived instead of treating me like less than a sex slave, I would tell you.

 

 **YONG QIN** : (He barks out a laugh so loud, so sinister that **TAEYONG** flinches) Need I remind you where you stand, consort? Or shall I forego the niceties and force you to tell me instead?

 

 **TAEYONG** : (He clenches his fists a little tighter and wills himself to not shake and cower underneath the **KING** ’s gaze) …

 

 **YONG QIN** : So you shall play this game with me?

 

The legs of the chair scrape against the gold tile floor and the **KING** makes his way over to the consort. Despite **TAEYONG** being the taller of the two, he feels himself succumb to the authority and power oozing out of **YONG QIN**. **TAEYONG** shrinks in size and opts to look at the ground beneath him. The **KING** clicks his tongue disapprovingly and hooks a finger underneath the redhead’s chin, forcing the other to look at him.

 

 **TAEYONG** feels his voice disappear upon seeing the murderous intent in **YONG QIN** ’s eyes.

 

 **YONG QIN** : So. (He smirks, knowing that he has intimidated **TAEYONG** enough to the point where he is completely and utterly afraid) Will you cooperate with me now?

 

 **TAEYONG** : (He is so afraid that words fail him, and he feels all color drain from his face)

 

 **YONG QIN** : As much as I dislike your silence, in this moment, I am _savoring_ this.

 

 

 

**_— TRIGGER WARNING: RAPE. IF YOU ARE UNCOMFORTABLE, I ENCOURAGE YOU TO SKIP THIS PART AND LOOK FOR THE NOTICE THAT MARKS THE END OF THIS SCENE —_ **

 

 

 

 **TAEYONG** starts to panic once he feels the **KING** ’s hands wander to lower regions of his body. But out of the three responses his body reacts to in signs of danger, he freezes up. Despite **YONG QIN** placing his cold hands on the consort’s body, it leaves behind a burning, unwanted sensation. **TAEYONG** ’s body pricks with goosebumps as the **KING** ’s hands only travel lower and lower still, and yet he cannot even muster a noise of protest.

 

 **TAEYONG** feels himself tearing up.

 

 **YONG QIN** : _Tears?_ (He sneers, then spanks **TAEYONG** ’s rear and gives it a firm squeeze) And yet your body is so honest.

 

 **TAEYONG** : N-no, please—

 

 **YONG QIN** : Shut up.

 

Before **TAEYONG** could even blink, **YONG QIN** flips him around and bends him over his desk, scrolls and paper flying everywhere. The **KING** wastes no time in pulling the offensive robes off the consort and fondling his nether regions, the precum forming at the tip of **TAEYONG** ’s dick bubbling up and leaking.

 

 **TAEYONG** : (In between sobs and choked out moans that don’t sound like his own voice) S-stop!

 

 **YONG QIN** : We have done this before and you are still this tight? (He’s inspecting the way **TAEYONG** ’s hole puckers open and squeezes closed) Just relax. It will feel good.

 

 **TAEYONG** : (Another choked sob leaves his lips) Why are so cruel?

 

 **YONG QIN** hesitates for a split second, the question seeming to have caught him off guard. **TAEYONG** takes in that moment to draw in a shaky, much needed breath and he prepares himself to run. Except that he is forcefully taken by his hips and a searing, splitting pain courses through his body. He grips the edges of the desk and screams in pain.

 

 **YONG QIN** gives little regard for the trembling man beneath him. He pulls out his cock from **TAEYONG** ’s ass and then slams back into him twice as harshly as he had entered. The consort sobs at the roughness from the **KING** thrusting into him. His strength to hold The table underneath **TAEYONG** moves with the **KING** ’s thrusts, and not only do his hips and bottom ache but his abdomen starts to as well.

 

The brute force the **KING** exerts for their sex causes the ink well at the corner of his table to topple over and smash into large, jagged pieces. The black ink spills everywhere, soiling the gold tiles. The sound of glass breaking reduces **TAEYONG** ’s voice into small cries.

 

 _No more_ , he wants to scream.

 

_No more._

 

Yet his body betrays him and the familiar heat begins gathering in the pits of his stomach. The head of his dick starts to turn an angry red. As if on cue, **YONG QIN** spreads the consort’s bottom wide and gyrates his hips. He thrusts into him with animalistic force, hitting a bundle of nerves that brings back **TAEYONG** ’s voice and the consort is screaming. Even though his body feels pleasure, his heart feels empty.

 

Frustrated.

 

Upset.

 

Angry.

 

Used.

 

Degraded.

 

 **TAEYONG** doesn’t last very long and he cums three thrusts after the **KING** finds his sweet spot. **YONG QIN** doesn’t relent and he thrusts into the consort faster, chasing after his own release. **TAEYONG** feels tears streaming down his face when warmth fills up his bottom.

 

The world fades to black.

 

 

 

**_— END RAPE SCENE —_ **

 

 

 

 **TAEYONG** wakes up in the bath, his body soaking in warm water that smell faintly of tea. He doesn’t remember how he got here, but he doesn’t care. He shifts slightly in the bath and winces. His body aches all over. He looks down and observes the bruises on his chest, abdomen, and hips. Some are less obvious than others, but a few bruises, namely the ones on his hips, have bloomed to an ugly shade of purple.

 

He sighs, then reaches over for the soap on the other side of him when he hears loud voices boom on the other side of the door.

 

 **YIXING** : **YONG QIN** , WHAT WERE YOU THINKING?!

 

 **YIFAN** : (Rubbing his temples) Do you realize what despicable act you have done to him?

 

 **YONG QIN** : (He scoffs disbelievingly) Use his body to my liking as the other consorts have done so for me?

 

 **YIFAN** : THIS WAS RAPE AND YOU KNOW IT!

 

 **TAEYONG** flinches at the rage in **GENERAL WU** ’s voice. He hears shuffling next, hoping that a fight doesn’t break out.

 

 **YONG QIN** : This is no different from what other kings have done to their whores.

 

 **YIXING** : Except you are not like other kings!

 

 **YONG QIN** : WHO ARE YOU TO SAY THAT TO ME?!

 

The outburst shocks the doctor and the general into silence. **YIFAN** clenches his fists, wanting so badly to punch some sense into the smaller man, but he refrains.

 

 **YIFAN** : Is that not what the Li state was founded on? Their kings being kind?

 

 **YONG QIN** : You may have been blessed with kind kings in the past, but all they did was turn a blind eye to the shit show waging on their neighbor’s front doors! I am not going to die because I chose to follow my predecessor’s examples to pretend the world outside my state is fine!

 

 **YIFAN** : You mean you are going to ignore the peace that has been maintain by past Li kings for 20 generations?!

 

 **YONG QIN** : THE QIN STATE HAS ALREADY CONQUERED ONE OF THE THREE JIN STATES!

 

At the revelation, **GENERAL WU** and **DR. ZHANG** are stunned into silence. **YIXING** breathes out a shaky, high-pitched noise and buries his face into his hands. **YIFAN** takes the smaller man into his embrace, rubbing soothing circles into his hips.

 

 **YIFAN** : … Which one?

 

 **YONG QIN** : The advisors informed me it was the Han state. They no longer held the power they used to when they arose out of the state of Jin.

 

 **YIFAN** : How much time do we have until we are next, my Lord?

 

 **YONG QIN** : … If Consort **TAEYONG** confirms my suspicions, we are looking at fourteen days until our downfall.

 

 **TAEYONG** wants to vomit after hearing their conversation. **YONG** **QIN’** s suspicions are right. The Li state, although there is some land in between, is —  _was_ the Han state’s neighbor.

 

 **YIFAN** : Shit.

 

 **YONG QIN** : “Shit” is right.

 

 **YIXING** : Too soon. All of this. It-it’s too soon—

 

 **YIFAN** : (He softly hushes **YIXING** and plants a kiss on the crown of his head in lieu of giving him words of false hope)

 

 **YONG QIN** : I fail to understand why you are panicking, **YIXING** ge. You have no loyalty to the Li state. You were only hired because I was unable to find a better medic.

 

 **YIXING** : You childish fool! I may have maintained my neutral position to honor your request, but my loyalty is no longer for nobody but to the **21st KING OF LI**!

 

 **YONG QIN** : (He pinches the bridge of his nose in annoyance) … Why? Why do the both of you not heed my blessing to run away together and live the happy life you both deserve?

 

 **YIFAN** : What kind of noble guard would that make me, sire? I will be ridiculed by everybody as the coward who could not protect his king and the people who live in the only peaceful kingdom during a time of bloodshed. (He looks at **YIXING** with a fierce gentleness in his eyes, his fingers brushing against the curves of his cheekbones)

 

 **YIXING** : (He lays his head on his shoulder, his voice a whisper) You need not protect me, Fanfan.

 

 **YIFAN** : I know. But I want to.

 

 **YIXING** : … Then I will let you, if it eases your heart.

 

 **YIFAN** : I love you.

 

 **YIXING** : Silly.

 

 **YONG QIN** : (He drags out a sigh) Both of you retire to your rooms. I will… try to fix whatever damage I have done.

 

 **YIXING** : Good night, **YONG QIN**.

 

( **YIFAN** and **YIXING** bow deferentially to their **KING** , to which **YONG** **QIN** returns with a curt nod. He makes his way to the bathroom, surprised to find **TAEYONG** has already cleaned and dried himself off. The consort gingerly puts on his thin undergarments and then slips the robes on.)

 

 **TAEYONG** : I… heard everything.

 

 **YONG** **QIN** : … (He sighs again and cards a hand through his hair) So? Is my prediction correct? My people will fall in fourteen days?

 

 **TAEYONG** gulps.

 

 **TAEYONG** : Yes.

 


	10. ACT 10

**TAEYONG** tightens his grip on the balcony railings just a hair as he leans over to watch **GENERAL WU** training what is supposed to be the Li kingdom’s army.

 

He’s been visiting the training grounds for the past four days. Honestly, he doesn’t know why. If he could, he would just go back to reading the plethora of scrolls like nothing ever happened, but **YONG QIN** ’s words ring in his ears.

 

“The Qin state has already conquered one of the three Jin states!”

 

 **TAEYONG** leans away from the railings and hugs himself. He knew he should’ve put on something thicker — autumn was beginning to grow colder. He makes his way to the consort’s ward to change, only to find a heavier, much warmer outer robe grace his shoulders. The consort turns to thank whoever offered their robe to them, only to swallow his words when he sees the **KING**.

 

 **TAEYONG** : (He shrugs off the coat and marches his way to the consort’s ward)

 

 **YONG QIN** : Hey.

 

 **TAEYONG** : I didn’t ask.

 

 **YONG QIN** : Anyone with eyes can see that you are shivering.

 

 **TAEYONG** : Yes, so? Anyone with eyes can also see what a douchebag you’ve been to me for the past three weeks.

 

 **YONG** **QIN** : (He picks up the coat and drapes it around **TAEYONG** again) You will catch a cold.

 

 **TAEYONG** : (He stubbornly throws the coat on the ground and glares at **YONG** **QIN** ) You can’t just turn around and be nice to me just because I did you a favor by warning you about the Qin state’s invasion! Not after all those times you raped and degraded me!

 

 **YONG QIN** : I am not asking for your forgiveness.

 

 **TAEYONG** : What the hell do you want from me then?!

 

 **YONG QIN** : (He looks away from **TAEYONG** to stare at the troops — if one can call them that — training under **GENERAL WU** ) … The Li state was always bound to fall sooner or later. King Feng always warned his son that, then his son warned his son, and his son warned his son…no one ever thought we would last this long. We were always hiding. So this… this is the first time I have ever seen anyone apart from the guards train to be part of a militia. It will be the first one the Li state has since its founding.

 

 **TAEYONG** : What’s your point?

 

 **YONG QIN** : Thank you.

 

 **TAEYONG** : … Sorry?

 

 **YONG QIN** : As morbid as it may be, my people are going to die. I have accepted that. But I would rather they die fighting for something they believe in rather than they die because some tyrant robbed their lives from them. And for what purpose?

 

 **TAEYONG** : … Why?

 

 **YONG QIN** : (He looks at **TAEYONG** inquisitively) Why what?

 

 **TAEYONG** : Why are you kind to everyone else but me? What did I do that you speak about everyone else with such warmth but when it’s me, you’re so cold for no reason?

 

 **YONG QIN** : (He drapes the coat around **TAEYONG** one last time, and a small smile tugs at his lips when the consort finally accepts the gesture) You wouldn’t understand.

 

 **TAEYONG** : Then explain it to me so that I can understand!

 

 **YONG QIN** : (He lets out a small laugh, a real laugh out of amusement) I would have explained it already if I knew myself, but I am not. So how can an uneducated man teach without the necessary knowledge?

 

 **TAEYONG** : You… are _so_ infuriating. This all could have been avoided if we had just communicated!

 

 **YONG QIN** bursts out laughing, a youthfulness glowing about him.

 

That’s when **TAEYONG** remembers, “That’s right. He said I was older than him.”

 

 **YONG QIN** : You sound like an angry wife.

 

 **TAEYONG** : (His face flushes to a bright red that rivals his red hair) Shut up! Don’t joke like that!

 

 **YONG QIN** : Fine, fine. I will stop. (He fixes the coat around **TAEYONG** ’s shoulders so that it hugs him a little more snugly) Now get some rest. You need it.

 

The **KING** leaves without another word. The warmth from the coat is nothing compared to the warmth in his heart.

 

~*~

 

Nobody in the consort’s court has ever received a gift from the **KING**.

 

But **TAEYONG** doesn’t know that. He just brushes past the stares and whispers from the other consorts. Once he reaches his room, he closes the door and leaves the coat on his bed.

 


	11. ACT 11

 

 **YIXING** locks up the herbs cabinet quietly when a slight chill runs up his spine. He tightens the shawl around himself a bit tighter and turns back to acknowledge the unexpected visitor. He breathes a mental sigh of relief when he sees a familiar, deer-like face.

 

 **YIXING** : (Smiles) It has been some time since I last saw you.

 

 **MYSTERIOUS** **VISITOR** : (He stretches his arms and blinks his large, doe eyes mischievously before pouncing up to give **YIXING** a hug) I’ve missed you, **YIXING**.

 

 **YIXING** : As have I, **LU** **HAN** ge.

 

 **LU HAN** : (He returns to his seat on the edge of a bed) Are you sure you still want to do this? You have just over a week until this shit show goes to hell and back. Just say the word and—

 

 **YIXING** : You know I cannot do that.

 

 **LU HAN** : Jeez, you’ve gotten so cozy in this place that you even talk like them _and_ sound like them.

 

 **YIXING** : Are you done trying to convince me to go back with you?

 

 **LU HAN** : We… _you_ don’t belong here, Xing. You’re only going to make things harder for yourself the longer you stay here. (He gently takes the doctor’s hands into his own and gives them a light squeeze) You’re here to help, but not get yourself in trouble.

 

 **YIXING** : Ge, I already know.

 

 **LU HAN** : (He doesn’t look convinced, but he still maintains his smile towards him)

 

 **YIXING** : (He clicks his tongue, saddened at the way the elder has to force a smile) I will come back when all this is over. Promise.

 

 **LU HAN** : It’s _been_ over. The **KING** doesn’t need any more of your services, Xingie. (His brows furrow) Are you… staying because of something, or _someone_ else?

 

 **YIXING** : (He flushes a light pink, but a small smile tugs at the corner of his lips) …

 

 **LU HAN** : … (He cups the younger’s cheek so that they meet each other’s eyes) What’s their name?

 

 **YIXING** : **WU YIFAN**.

 

 **LU HAN** : (There’s a pained look in his eyes) Taotao will be very upset with you.

 

 **YIXING** : (He bites his lip) I know.

 

 **LU HAN** : (He squeezes **YIXING** ’s hands a final time before letting go. He makes his way towards the exit, but he stops at the threshold and looks back at the younger) I’ll come back for you in a week.

 

 **YIXING** : (He shakes his head) Don’t.

 

~*~

 

It’s rare to see the **KING** enter the consort’s ward. In fact, **YONG** **QIN** does not remember the last time he’s even stepped foot inside. So although his face remains impassive, he is jarred by the overwhelming scent of jasmine perfume and the gaudy jade statuesand ornaments littered throughout the room.

 

 **YONG QIN** : (He follows **GENERAL WU** ’s lead and marches into **TAEYONG** ’s room) Get dressed.

 

 **TAEYONG** : (He’s baffled and has scrolls scattered everywhere, but he gets off his bed and bows politely to **YONG QIN** and **YIFAN** ) You could have at least knocked!

 

 **YONG QIN** : No time.

 

 **TAEYONG** : And why is that?

 

 **YONG QIN** : We are throwing a celebration tonight.

 

 **TAEYONG** : (Suddenly he can feel his brain short-circuiting and it occurs to him that tonight starts within the next few hours, since the sun is almost completely set) _WHAT!?_

 

 **YONG QIN** : We are throwing a celebration tonight to commemorate the Li kingdom’s first militia. Since this is the first time this has occurred in our history, I wanted to honor the brave men who are putting their life on the line to help protect my people. Everyone is already informed of it, except you, Consort.

 

 **TAEYONG** : How the fuck did I end up out of the loop?!

 

 **YONG QIN** : Perhaps because you would rather read old parchment than interact with breathing, living humans.

 

Before **TAEYONG** can retort, **YONG QIN** drops one of the most beautiful crimson robes he’s ever seen in his life. **TAEYONG** stupidly gawks at the quality and intricacy of the fabric. He gingerly grazes two fingers along the hems, feeling how soft the silk is.

 

 **YONG QIN** : Wear that tonight.

 

 **TAEYONG** : (He splutters an incoherent response) W-wait, you—me, this…?? Huh??

 

 **YONG QIN** : (With a blank face) Wear that tonight.

 

 **TAEYONG** : This robe looks like it costs a fortune.

 

 **YONG QIN** : And you will have to pay for this fortune with your life if you refuse to wear it to the celebration tonight.

 

 **YIFAN** : Sire…

 

 **TAEYONG** : (He scowls at the **KING** but he carefully takes the robe in his arms and hangs it up in plain sight) I’ll… wear it. But only because I have nothing better to wear.

 

 **YONG QIN** : I do not recall that being the proper response after receiving a gift.

 

 **TAEYONG** : Get out.

 

 **YONG QIN** laughs cockily as **TAEYONG** shoos him and **GENERAL WU** out of his room. **YIFAN** shakes his head as he follows his **KING** out of the consort’s ward.

 

He wonders if **TAEYONG** will actually humor **YONG QIN** and wear the robe tonight.

 


	12. ACT 12

**TAEYONG** is getting stared at.

 

Okay, to be fair, it’s not the first time he’s been stared at. But after staying in the palace for three weeks, he’s become used to the stares. He knows it’s not everyday that a foreigner comes into ancient China, and hey, as uncomfortable as he is with the stares, he understands why.

 

But this is on a different level. Although **YONG** **QIN** had said the party was to celebrate the brave volunteers for the Li military, every single pair of eyes shift their attention to him.

 

Yeah, count **TAEYONG** out.

 

 **YONG QIN** : Where do you think you are going, Consort?

 

 **TAEYONG** : (He stops midway into his march to exit the ballroom) I, uh, just…

 

 **YONG QIN** : Forgive them. The people do not mean to make you uncomfortable, Consort. I am sure they are just captivated by your beauty. Please come join us.

 

 **TAEYONG** ’s brain translates that last line as “Stay in the ballroom _or else_.”

 

But also, something’s weird. **YONG QIN** also complimented him? Did he wake up on the wrong side of his fluffy mattress? Did **YIXING** slip in some weird herbs into his tea and that’s the cause for why he’s being so nice? Whatever the reason is, **TAEYONG** _definitely_ prefers a compliment over an “I will kill you the next time you breathe, whore.”

 

So although he is reluctant to stay, he sucks it up and turns back around to join the other guests, politely exchanging pleasantries with the townsfolk the celebration is for to figures of nobility that he heard of in passing.

 

He even spots a familiar face.

 

 **TAEYONG** : **KUN**! (Quickly goes to the senior advisor, apologizing profusely to the people he accidentally bumps into)

 

 **KUN** : (He smiles gently and brings the consort into a friendly hug) I have missed you.

 

 **TAEYONG** : So have I. How are you?

 

 **KUN** : Better, better. However, **DR. ZHANG** still does not deem me fully recovered yet. (A split second of hurt crosses his face but he smooths it into a cool smile) How are you?

 

 **TAEYONG** : I’m fine. Better, also.

 

 **KUN** : No more nightmares?

 

 **TAEYONG** : … (Shakes his head) I mean, they’re mostly gone. A few nights ago, I dreamt of **SICHENG** again…

 

 **KUN** : (He breathes a sigh) My heart misses my younger brother as well. But I would rather not talk about him right now.

 

 **TAEYONG** : No, no! If you need to and want to, I think it would be better for you.

 

 **KUN** : Most of my conversations about **SICHENG** are with **DR. ZHANG**. I have talked about him plenty. (His smile grows. It looks pleased, and almost teasing, actually.) But I would like to discuss those robes.

 

 **TAEYONG** : (He looks down at the intricate garment around his frame) Honestly, I’m so afraid I’ll ruin this robe that I don’t even want to eat or drink. This thing alone is probably worth more than all of the clothes I have back home.

 

 **KUN** : (A forlorn look graces his face) Do you miss your home?

 

 **TAEYONG** : (His eyebrows crease as a heaviness weighs him down) So much. Especially my parents and my siblings.

 

 **KUN** : How many siblings do you have?

 

 **TAEYONG** : Four. Three brothers and one sister. I’m the third child.

 

 **KUN** : What is it like to have that many siblings?

 

 **TAEYONG** : For me, I never get recognized enough by my parents. Don’t get me wrong, they love me, but they have their hands full. They are always working to provide for us, and five children to raise is a handful for anyone. I don’t know how they did it without losing their minds.

 

 **KUN** : (He smiles fondly) You seem close with them.

 

 **TAEYONG** : I love my family. No matter how much I want to kick **DAEHYUN** Hyung for being overprotective, or how much I argue with **JANG** **MI** Noona over who gets the last piece of cake, or how much **JONGIN** -ah never remembers when it’s his turn to clean the bathroom, or how much our parents are the most lenient on **SAE** **GYEONG** -ah because he’s the youngest… I love them. Charms, flaws, and all.

 

 **KUN** : (He says nothing, appearing contemplative) No wonder you are our Queen.

 

 **TAEYONG** ’s ears perk up, feels his blood rushing through his veins twice as fast, and freezes up all in the same moment. His hands shakily ball up into fists. All because of one word.

 

_What the actual fuck?_

 

 **TAEYONG** : … Pardon?

 

 **KUN** ’s eyes widen in sudden realization and he presses his hand against his mouth.

 

 **KUN** : Oh gods. Please, f-forgive me, I-I thought—

 

 **YONG QIN** : If I may have everybody’s attention!

 

The crowd of people tear away from their conversations to hear what their **KING** is about to say. Only **TAEYONG** is the one not looking up.

 

 **YONG QIN** : First, I would like to thank all the brave souls who are willing to sacrifice their lives to protect the Kingdom of Li. It is truly humbling and rewarding to see the strong morale of my people, despite all odds. And I mean every odd possible has been stacked against us. So for that, I raise my glass to you. (He does so and takes a sip of his wine from the extravagant chalice)

 

The guests holler their praises and huzzahs, then they mirror their **KING** ’s gesture. **YONG QIN** flashes a charismatic smile to his people and lowers his free hand to hush the chatter. He continues when the noise subsides.

 

 **YONG QIN** : But that is not all. I have also called upon this celebration because I have a special announcement. I am sure many of you have come to this conclusion, but I have hand-picked a **QUEEN** to be at my side. (He gestures his free hand in **TAEYONG** ’s direction) I give to the people of Li their **10TH QUEEN** , and the first male to be named so.

 

 **TAEYONG** raises his head and meets the **KING** ’s eyes. He doesn’t know what kind of expression he is making, but he sees that **YONG QIN** does not seem fazed.

 

_Why?_

 

 **YONG QIN** : From this moment, you will all address him as **QUEEN TAEYONG** , my wife.

 

 **TAEYONG** wants to die.

 


	13. ACT 13

 

 **TAEYONG** wakes up slowly, his eyelids feeling heavy and his head pounding. He doesn’t remember falling asleep, actually. And he sure as hell doesn’t remember his bed ever feeling this soft and fluffy—

 

Wait… a goddamn minute.

 

 **TAEYONG** is awake in a nanosecond and he starts whipping his head in all directions (and making his headache 1000x worse), panicking as he realizes he’s in the **KING** ’s bed and his robes are _fucking open._

 

 **TAEYONG** : **LI**. **YONG. QIN**!!

 

But the **KING** does not respond. Instead, a young boy, no older than 18 comes to his side of the bed. He bows deeply.

 

 **SERVANT** : Is something the matter, your Majesty?

 

 **TAEYONG** : (Dumbfounded) Uh… I’m sorry, who are you…?

 

 **SERVANT** : My sincerest apologies, your Majesty. My name is **ZHONG CHENLE**. His Majesty our **KING** appointed me to be your hand servant.

 

 **TAEYONG** blinks twice at the revelation. He mutters exasperatedly.

 

 **TAEYONG** : So I have a hand servant now on top of being Queen?

 

 **CHENLE** : (His turn to blink) Pardon me, Your Highness, but are you perhaps unhappy that I am your hand servant? His Majesty can appoint a new one if you—

 

 **TAEYONG** : No, no! I’m sorry, it’s just, you’re just… so _young_.

 

 **CHENLE** : (A boyish grin blooms on his face) I will be 15 come autumn time, Your Grace. I can assure you that I have more than enough training and experience as your qualified hand servant.

 

 **TAEYONG** : (Disbelievingly) You’re only 15? Shouldn’t you be in school?

 

 **CHENLE** : (He gives **TAEYONG** a quizzical look) My family is of noble background, my Queen. All nobles are educated with the help of tutors. It is because of those exceptionally bright tutors that I have completed all my necessary education.

 

 **TAEYONG** : … And that entails…?

 

 **CHENLE** : Serving you.

 

 **TAEYONG** : .....................

 

... Okay?

 

 **TAEYONG** : That’s… a bit odd for a noble kid, isn’t it? Don’t you have any other aspirations? Any goals or dreams you’ve had since you were little? Er... _littler_?

 

 **CHENLE** : (He ponders on that for a bit but he returns **TAEYONG** ’s question with a bright smile) I suppose I did. But the war has stopped me from ever getting anywhere near achieving them. But everything is okay! I was fortunate to be born in the Kingdom of Li and the **KING** is very kind.

 

 **TAEYONG** : (Grumbling and pinches the bridge of his nose) Except he hasn’t been very kind recently…

 

 **CHENLE** : (His shoulders sag a little and his smile dims a bit) Yeah… but he does it out of love for us. I do not know a more selfless and loving **KING**.

 

 **TAEYONG** wants to laugh bitterly. He thinks **CHENLE** can’t be any more wrong about that. But he doesn’t say anything. Instead, he bites his tongue and smiles at the boy.

 

 **TAEYONG** : But haven’t the previous Li kings been kind too?

 

 **CHENLE** : (He lets out a small giggle) They have. But the **21ST KING** has surpassed his predecessors. He has not been able to do it recently because the war is getting worse, but His Majesty regularly visits the village people. The grandmothers who bake him fresh bread always give their freshest loaves to him for no charge but His Majesty always pays for what he is given. And the village children — some of them are my best friends — he loves to play games with them. Maybe it is because His Majesty is the youngest **KING** to inherit the throne.

 

 **TAEYONG** : Oh really? When did he inherit the throne?

 

Truthfully, **TAEYONG** could have just looked that bit up in the royal archives. But talking to **CHENLE** is much more preferable than screaming at **YONG QIN** for last night’s fiasco. (Which he still fully intends on doing, by the way!)

 

 **CHENLE** : (He looks up, racking his head to remember when the **KING** was coronated) If I am not mistaken, His Majesty was 14?

 

 **TAEYONG** ’s eyes widen at the information. 14? Certainly that’s not the youngest anyone has ever been crowned of someone with a royal title — but to be crowned **KING** at the age of 14 where a war wages outside their front door is some other kind of terrifying.

 

He can only imagine what **YONG QIN** has gone through.

 

 **CHENLE** : (He bows deeply again) Forgive me, I have rambled too much. And as delighted as I am that I was able to speak with my Queen, it is almost noontime and Your Grace has not yet eaten anything.

 

 **TAEYONG** : What?! How long was I out?!

 

 **CHENLE** tilts his head to the side, not comprehending.

 

 **CHENLE** : You have not stepped outside the palace grounds today, My Queen.

 

 **TAEYONG** does two things: deadpans.

 

And then clear his throat to fix his words.

 

 **TAEYONG** : What I meant was… how long was I asleep?

 

 **CHENLE** : Oh! Quite some time, actually. I suppose you might not remember much of last night. After the **KING** announced that you were the new **QUEEN** , your Highness grabbed the nearest bottle of wine and drank straight from it. Senior advisor **KUN** looked after you because Your Grace was heavily inebriated.

 

“Sounds about right,” **TAEYONG** thinks bitterly, as he recalls the memory of downing as much alcohol his liver could take and **KUN** urging him to stop drinking before he vomit on the corridor floors. “I was so fucking pissed at him that I needed something to take my mind off of it somehow.”

 

 **TAEYONG** : Ah… So, um… do I get breakfast? Or lunch?

 

 **CHENLE** : I will ask one of the cooks to prepare you something right now and I will deliver it to you at once.

 

Before **TAEYONG** can open his mouth to protest, **CHENLE** is already out the door and heading towards the kitchen.

 

~*~

 

 **KUN** : Good afternoon, Your Grace. (He bows deeply to  **TAEYONG** ) Did you enjoy your meal?

 

 **TAEYONG** : Oh! Um… Y-yeah, I did, just uh… (He sighs, then shakes his head as gently as he can to not trigger any more of a headache than necessary) Sorry, this day is just getting weirder and weirder.

 

 **KUN** : (He giggles a little bit) Not accustomed to the new title?

 

 **TAEYONG** : Well… yes, there’s that, but I also wish there was coffee and aspirin for this hangover…

 

 **KUN** tilts his head to the side and his eyebrows furrow in confusion.

 

 **KUN** : Coffee? Aspirin? What are those, your Highness?

 

 **TAEYONG** internally screams. That's just one more thing to add to the ever-growing list of stress inducers for the former consort. Guess there really is no helping this struggle.

 

 **TAEYONG** : N-never mind. But I do need something to get rid of this headache…

 

 **KUN** : Right away, my **QUEEN**.

 

 **TAEYONG** : **KUN**?

 

 **KUN** : Yes?

 

 **TAEYONG** : Please don’t call me that. Just **TAEYONG** is enough.

 

A smile tugs at the corner of **KUN** ’s face and he nods.

 

 **KUN** : Very well. But I must address you as my **QUEEN** when we are around others. Or else the other advisors will have me executed for poor manners.

 

 **TAEYONG** : … Since I’m **QUEEN** now, can’t I overrule something like that?

 

 **KUN** : (He lets out an amused chuckle) I suppose so. (He holds his arm out for **TAEYONG** to take) If you would like, I can escort you to **DR. ZHANG**. You do not look to be in a condition to walk properly.

 

 **TAEYONG** smiles gratefully and hooks his arm around **KUN** ’s. They walk in silence for a bit before the **QUEEN** clears his throat to ask a question.

 

 **TAEYONG** : So… what happened last night?

 

 **KUN** : How much are you able to recall?

 

 **TAEYONG** tries to think as much as his memory can serve him. His sudden (and unwanted) coronation comes first to mind, then he recalls nursing a chalice filled to the rim with wine. After that, the rest of last night’s events become a blurred mess.

 

 **TAEYONG** : **YONG** **QIN** was the asshole who crowned me as his wife without — _at the very least_ — even asking for my consent. Then I remember getting drunk as shit. Everything after that is hazy.

 

 **KUN** hums in affirmation, but he does not dare look at his **QUEEN** as they continue their walk to see the **ROYAL DOCTOR**.

 

 **KUN** : I know you and the **KING** do not have… an ideal relationship. But please believe me when I say he is fond of you.

 

 **TAEYONG** scoffs, then he holds his head because it is beginning to throb again.

 

 **TAEYONG** : I’ll believe it when I see it.

 

 **KUN** : _Everyone_ sees it, **TAEYONG**. Everyone _but you_.

 

 **TAEYONG** : (He looks down at his shuffling feet) … Don’t lie to me, please.

 

 **KUN** : I would rather slit my throat than lie to you, my friend. I know our **KING** is not as kind and just as the whole kingdom likes to think he is, but I have never seen His Majesty lend a consort, let alone _anyone_ , his coat, nor have I ever seen him call someone to his chambers as often as he has called you.

 

 **TAEYONG** : Believe me, he’s been nothing but a prick whenever I’m in his room.

 

 **KUN** : I do not doubt that. (He pats the other’s hand) But nobody in the palace court can deny that, for whatever reason, he is drawn to you. And I may be wrong, but… I do not think he is drawn to you because he wants to break you. Actually, I suspect… he is drawn to you because he fancies you, and I think he wants to break you because he is actually afraid to lose you. A twisted way of thought, but it is what I drew from what I heard and saw.

 

 **TAEYONG** looks at the senior advisor, cocking his head slightly. He thinks the aftermath of the alcohol is really starting to fuck with him now, because this is all too much for him to understand at the moment.

 

 **TAEYONG** : Why do you say that?

 

The pair stops a few steps shy of **DR. ZHANG** ’s office. **KUN** looks at **TAEYONG** square in the eye.

 

 **KUN** : You danced with him last night, **TAEYONG**. And _you_ were the one who approached him.

 


	14. ACT 14

**YIFAN** : Copper for your thoughts?

 

 **YONG QIN** places his brush back in its ink well and eyes his senior **GENERAL**. He quirks up an eyebrow.

 

 **YONG QIN** : Come again?

 

 **YIFAN** : (He smiles crookedly) Do you truly need me to repeat myself?

 

 **YONG QIN** snorts at his guard’s preposterous presumption and he stands up from his study desk. He then makes his way to the balcony, staring at nothing in particular. **YIFAN** follows him, leaving a small distance between himself and his **KING**. The younger doesn’t look back at the older behind him. **YIFAN** tries to prod into his **KING** ’s head with a question.

 

 **YIFAN** : Is it about the **QUEEN**?

 

 **YONG QIN** : (He folds his arms against his chest and shrugs nonchalantly) Sure.

 

 **YIFAN** : You have always been a tad curt, sire, but never this crass.

 

 **YONG QIN** scoffs at the other’s snark.

 

 **YIFAN** : Do last night’s events continue to irk you, my Lord?

 

 **YONG QIN** clenches his fists tightly. So tightly that if he was holding something, it would surely snap in half.

 

 **YONG QIN** : You have no idea, ge.

 

 

**_THE NIGHT BEFORE…_ **

 

 

 **YONG QIN** watches his newly-named wife cradle a glass of wine in his arms, a warm flush evenly spread throughout his face. He chuckles to himself. He didn’t know understand why his new **QUEEN** filled up his glass to the brim with alcohol — he got drunk after finishing only a quarter of the chalice.

 

But he does suppose it’s refreshing to see **TAEYONG** giggling and smiling, even if it is because of the alcohol. Not that he’s worthy of seeing a smiley, easy-going, and _immensely cute_ **TAEYONG** anyway. But hey — it’s hilarious for him to watch **KUN** struggle to keep the new **QUEEN** under control.

 

 **KUN** : (Groaning) Your Grace, I beg you, please stop. I think you have already hit your limit.

 

 **TAEYONG** : (In between high-pitched giggles, and he’s making grabby hands when **KUN** pries the cup away from him) Nooooo!

 

 **KUN** sighs resignedly and asks one of the consorts to look after the new **QUEEN** as he empties the rest of the chalice’s contents into a nearby plant.

 

“What a waste of perfectly good wine,” the **KING** scoffs.

 

 **YONG QIN** : **KUN** ge.

 

The senior advisor looks up from the plant and bows deeply to his **KING**.

 

 **KUN** : Your Excellency.

 

 **YONG QIN** : Next time, just give me my wife’s drink. I will finish it for him.

 

 **KUN** shakes his head slightly, a bemused smile painting his face.

 

 **KUN** : I am not sure my **QUEEN** would appreciate that. He is drinking his sorrows away because of you, your Majesty.

 

 **YONG QIN** pretends the words don’t pierce him. But **KUN** is no fool. Behind the **KING** ’s impassive walls, they both know he’s hit a point.

 

 **KUN** : He has not come to resent you, my **KING**. At least, not yet.

 

 **YONG QIN** : (He shrugs uncaringly, then he downs the last of the wine in his cup easily) Not that I am deserving of his resentment anyway.

 

 **KUN** : It would serve my liege more good for himself if he do away with the sarcasm for the time being.

 

 **YONG QIN** : Funny. I do not recall asking for your opinion.

 

 **KUN** : And I care not for your defensiveness just because I hurt your feelings, sire.

 

They glare at each other, an iciness hanging between them. They do not argue often, but when they do, the tension is miasmic. **KUN** is the first to break away from the glare with a sigh.

 

 **KUN** : I do not understand what goes through your head, sire. But whatever hardships and burdens have been troubling you, please cease taking it out on **TAEYONG**. The **QUEEN** has suffered more than he should because of you.

 

 **YONG QIN** wrinkles his nose in disgust. Since when were **TAEYONG** and **KUN** on a first name basis? Not that he cares. But his mind does linger on **KUN** ’s last point.

 

_I know._

 

_I really do._

 

 _But you just wouldn’t understand,_ **_KUN_ ** _._

 

_Nobody would._

 

A bushel of vibrant red hair with an equally vibrant red face waltz over to **YONG QIN’** s arms. It catches both the **KING** and **KUN** off guard.

 

 **TAEYONG** : (In between airy giggles) **YONG QIN** ~ Dance with me~

 

 **YONG QIN** : (He snorts) Do you even know how to dance, my **QUEEN**?

 

 **TAEYONG** : Mnhm…~ Ballroom dances not really~… but I know — (He hiccups) — how to handle a beat~

 

 **YONG QIN** sighs, but he does not disregard his wife’s odd request to dance. He takes **TAEYONG** by the hand, gently, and they stand at the heart of the dance floor. The crowd makes way for the royal couple and the music begins to shift to a slower, softer song.

 

To a love song.

 

 **YONG QIN** pays no mind to it. He just places one of **TAEYONG** ’s hand on his shoulder, then he holds **TAEYONG** ’s waist with one hand and his free hand intertwines fingers with the other’s free hand. **TAEYONG** doesn’t have any protests, and honestly **YONG QIN** finds it to be a little unfitting.

 

 **YONG QIN** leads them in a simple back and forth sway. He breathes a sigh of relief when his wife doesn’t trip over his own feet during the dance.

 

But he does tense up when **TAEYONG** lies his head on his other shoulder, burying his face into the crook of his neck and nosing at his clavicle.

 

 **YONG QIN** is not used to the affection.

 

But he doesn’t dislike it. He relaxes his muscles and lets **TAEYONG** nuzzle him.

 

 **TAEYONG** : (Mumbling) ‘S everyone staring?

 

 **YONG QIN** : Of course they are.

 

 **TAEYONG** giggles. His breath tickles the **KING** ’s collarbone. The **QUEEN** speaks in a low, hushed voice, as if he’s about to share a secret no one else knows.

 

 **TAEYONG** : Y’know **YONG QIN** … I dunno why you act like such a jerk with me when you’re so fucking nice to all the other fake-ass whores.

 

 **YONG QIN** wants to retort something but he decides to keep his mouth shut. Causing a scene at their impromptu wedding is something he would rather not deal with the next morning.

 

 **TAEYONG** : If you’d just be half as nice to me as you are to them, I’d be happier. In the future, we have this saying, y’know.

 

Aaaaaand he’s drunk.

 

Like _really_ drunk.

 

 **TAEYONG** : When someone finds someone else attractive, we rate them on a number scale. The higher the number, the more we like them. And honestly, you’re a ten out of ten.

 

 **YONG QIN** ’s brows furrow, and he blinks rapidly. His grip begins to tighten on **TAEYONG** ever so slightly.

 

_What did you say?_

 

 **YONG QIN** wraps up the last of the dance quickly, but without making it seem too hasty. He makes an announcement that he is going to retire to his chambers with his wife to the guests, thanks them for coming, and delegates the guards to get everyone back to their homes safely.

 

 **YONG QIN** drags his now drowsy wife to the bedroom and lies him down on the bed. **TAEYONG** thrashes around a bit, arguing that he’s not tired, even though **YONG QIN** knows his body is going to give in to sleep soon. His suspicion comes true not even a minute later.

 

 **YONG QIN** heaves a stressed sigh and makes his way to his study. He leans over his study table and his hands curl into fists, his knuckles a ghostly white. His body racks slightly as ragged, breathless, _humorless_ laughs leave his lips. He doesn’t feel the tears roll down his cheeks when the open doorway welcomes in a gust of wind.

 

When was the last time he heard that name?

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> as if i needed to make the ending to this chapter that dramatic lol


	15. ACT 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> * youtiao is Chinese fried dough, it looks similar to a churro or a breadstick

A large room with multiple hallways lined with shelves on shelves of books. Light streams generously in from the open window, and cliché as it is, soft pink cherry blossoms gently drop down from their branches and land on the edges of the nearest tabletops.

 

 **YONG QIN** is seated at one such table. The cherry blossom petals are silky and delicate against his fingers.

 

“Hey, there you are!”

 

An unfamiliar, but at the same time familiar, voice breaks him out of his trance. He can’t see the face of the voice’s owner, as it is blocked by a shadow and a white haze outlining his body.

 

“I want to introduce you to someone…”

 

~*~

 

 **YIXING** : You have looked better, my **QUEEN**.

 

 **TAEYONG** scoffs at the jab, but he doesn’t deny it. He’s been avoiding mirrors the entire time he’s been up for a reason.

 

The doctor adds crushed up herbs into a teapot filled with hot water. The aroma of subtle green tea, bitter ginseng, and the warm spice of ginger greets **TAEYONG** ’s nose. **KUN** , who had momentarily left the infirmary, comes back carrying a tray of piping hot  _[youtiao](https://thewoksoflife.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/08/youtiao-14.jpg)*_ and congee.

 

 **KUN** : You must be famished.

 

 **TAEYONG** : To be honest, I could eat an entire feast by myself.

 

And true to his word, **TAEYONG** wastes no time and he digs into the food.

 

 **YIXING** : Careful not to choke, your Highness.

 

He brings over the concoction he brewed and pours some of it into a teacup. **TAEYONG** takes the tea in both hands and shoots **YIXING** a grateful smile, then he drinks. He kills a grimace. While the tea smells heavenly, it tastes like _shit_.

 

 **KUN** : (He giggles) You can be honest about the tea.

 

 **YIXING** : (He looks over his shoulder with a blank, almost deadly expression) Only if you do not wish to get rid of the aftermath of all the alcohol your Highness consumed last night.

 

 **TAEYONG** gulps and proceeds to make tiny sips at the horrendous concoction. When he (miraculously) finishes the tea, he sets it down on the tray next to the other empty plates.

 

 **KUN** : All done?

 

 **YIXING** : (He smiles warmly at **TAEYONG** that a dimple makes its appearance)

 

A knock interrupts the trio.

 

 **YIFAN** : Pardon the intrusion. (He spots **TAEYONG** sitting at the edge of a patient bed and bows deeply to him, then he straightens himself up again) His Majesty is going insane right now. He assumed the worst of conclusions when he returned to the royal chambers and Your Grace was not present.

 

 **YIXING** : (He clicks his tongue exasperatedly) Must that imbecile _always_ assume the worst when it comes to his wife?

 

 **YIFAN** : (He raises an eyebrow and smirks mischievously) You know you are asking for misfortune for speaking poorly about your superior?

 

 **YIXING** : One more word out of you, **WU YIFAN** , and you are sleeping on the couch tonight.

 

 **TAEYONG** lifts his eyebrows so high that he can feel them touching his fringe.

 

_When the fuck did they get together—?!_

 

 **KUN** : Can we keep your lover’s squabble to a minimum?

 

 **YIFAN** : (He laughs heartily when **YIXING** shoots him an icy glare) I can escort you back, Your Grace. (He offers his arm for **TAEYONG** to take)

 

 **TAEYONG** : Thank you, **GENERAL WU** , but I can walk on my own. (He gets up from his seat on the patient bed and smiles gratefully to **KUN** and **YIXING** ) Thank you for the food and tea.

 

 **KUN** : It was our pleasure, your Highness.

 

 **YIXING** : My door and services are always open to you, my **QUEEN**.

 

 **YIFAN** : What about me, honey?

 

 **YIXING** : _GET OUT,_ ** _YIFAN_** _!_

 

~*~

 

 **TAEYONG** gingerly opens the chamber doors, careful to not make any creaking sounds. **YIFAN** stifles a chuckle at his **QUEEN** ’s cautiousness.

 

They enter the royal chambers once the door is wide enough for them to go through. **YIFAN** stays at the threshold dutifully and he ushers **TAEYONG** to go on. The **QUEEN** bows to him in thanks and makes his way to the bed chambers.

 

 **YONG QIN** : (He is at his desk, unable to focus on the important documents and maps laid out in front of him)

 

 **TAEYONG** : I’m back…

 

 **YONG QIN** : (He looks back at his wife tiredly and he stands up from his seat, then wraps his arms around his torso and buries his face into his shoulder) It has been an exhausting day.

 

 **TAEYONG** is surprised at the sudden interaction. But he doesn’t push him away. After a breadth of hesitation, he returns the hug.

 

Something in his gut tells him something’s up.

 

 **TAEYONG** : (In a hushed voice) What’s wrong?

 

 **YONG QIN** : … The Qin state will be here sooner than we expected.

 


	16. ACT 16

 

 **TAEYONG** doesn’t know how to respond to the news. He just continues to hold **YONG QIN** in his arms, hoping the simple gesture would ease him, even if it helps him just a little bit.

 

 **TAEYONG** : (He draws a small breath after some time, his voice a hushed whisper) Are you okay?

 

 **YONG QIN** : (He scoffs and he breaks away from their embrace, running a hand through his hair) A power-hungry militia is on its way to decimate an army of farmers, kill women and children, destroy my kingdom, and you are asking _if I am okay_?

 

 **TAEYONG** flinches at the sharpness in the younger man’s voice, but he stands firm. The shorter man might not know it himself, but **TAEYONG** knows that **YONG QIN** isn’t actually mad at him, just stressed to the max.

 

 **TAEYONG** : Well are you?

 

The **KING** chews on his bottom lip, his forehead creasing as he draws his brows together worriedly.

 

 **YONG QIN** : I already know this is a losing battle for me. So why does it _still_ cause me so much pain?

 

Something about **YONG QIN** ’s question strikes something inside of **TAEYONG**. He doesn’t know why, but he doesn’t think the reason should be important. He moves towards the younger man anyway to bring him in another hug. But before he can close even half their distance, **YONG QIN** brushes past his wife and leaves the bed chambers.

 

This time, the coldness is unbearable.

 

~*~

 

 **YIXING** leaves the palace grounds with **YIFAN** (who is clad in a light layer of armor, which is ridiculous since he has the day off) and they head towards the market square together.

 

 **YIFAN** : What are you looking for today, **YIXING**?

 

 **YIXING** : (He’s already scouring through the fruit and herbs, checking for its freshness and ripeness) Truthfully?

 

 **YIFAN** : … Yes?

 

 **YIXING** : Aphrodisiacs.

 

 **YIFAN** chokes on his spit.

 

 **YIFAN** : _Please_ tell me that was a joke.

 

 **YIXING** : (He smirks playfully) _Of course_ that was a joke, Fanfan. (He mutters under his breath) Maybe…

 

 **YIFAN** : You terrify me, **ZHANG YIXING**.

 

 **YIXING** : Good.

 

A giggle leaves **YIXING** ’s lips, and the **GENERAL** can’t help but grin. **YIXING** ’s giggles are music to **YIFAN** ’s ears. He wraps his arms around the smaller man’s torso and he presses their lips together chastely. **YIXING** throws his arms around the taller man’s neck and deepens their kiss. The senior guard groans throatily at his lover’s advances, and **YIXING** loves that he’s the only one who is able to rile **YIFAN** up like this.

 

 **YIXING** realizes that it really has been a long time since the last time they were able to kiss like this.

 

They pull away from each other with a sigh from the **GENERAL** and a chuckle from the **DOCTOR**. They part ways for now, **YIFAN** saying he wanted to buy a surprise present for the younger, to which **YIXING** smiled and continued on his way to buy new herbs. Once he reaches the herb stand, the hairs on the back of his neck prick up. He looks behind him and his eyes widen.

 

 **YIXING** : **ZITAO**?

 

The figure is tall, but not as tall as **YIFAN**. His round, panda-like eyes are lined with dark kohl, amplifying his already intense gaze. The dark cloak he’s wearing accentuates the how pale he’s gotten. And even though he’s wearing a hood, **YIXING** notices that his hair grew a little bit also. He can’t help but think **ZITAO** looks like a porcelain doll.

 

 **ZITAO** : (He sighs and pulls off his hood) **LU HAN** ge said you’d still be here.

 

 **YIXING** : Why on Earth are you here?

 

 **ZITAO** : I should be asking you that.

 

 **YIXING** : Well I was just restocking my medicinal herbs.

 

 **ZITAO** : You know that’s not what I meant.

 

 **YIXING** sighs, defeated.

 

 **YIXING** : He still needs me at his side.

 

 **ZITAO** : You know damn well that’s not true.

 

 **YIXING** : Well surely you do not want the **KING** to be a casualty before the Qin invade.

 

 **ZITAO** : What does it matter? The outcome is the the same. And he’s out of time.

 

 **YIXING** : Taotao, please—

 

 **YIFAN** : **YIXING**?

 

 **ZITAO** and **YIXING** freeze at the sound of the **GENERAL** ’s voice. The tallest of the three raises an eyebrow at them.

 

 **YIFAN** : Am I interrupting something?

 

 **ZITAO** : No. I was just leaving. (He puts his hood back and walks away, but then he stops and looks at **YIXING** over his shoulder) Please. Come home.

 

 **YIXING** can only stare back at **ZITAO** ’s retreating figure. **YIFAN** doesn’t say a word about the encounter. He just places a shadow of a kiss on the crown of the **DOCTOR** ’s head and pays for the herbs his lover had left unattended while he was talking to the man who just left.

 

~*~

 

 **TAEYONG** sits beside **MEIQI** on the edge of the medical bed, squeezing her hand comfortingly. The female consort groans as she waits for **DR. ZHANG** to finish up with her check up.

 

 **YIXING** : And how long have you been feeling nauseous?

 

 **MEIQI** : I am not sure… but the nausea is never consistent. There have been many times where I have woken up in the middle of the night to vomit. **XUAN YI** is worried that I may be ill.

 

 **YIXING** : Well thankfully, you are not ill, but… you _are_ pregnant.

 

The room grows quiet, so quiet that one can hear a pin drop. **TAEYONG** squeezes his friend’s hand harder, not knowing why. **MEIQI** doesn’t look distressed at all. There are tears bunching up at the corner of her eyes. She looks happy.

 

 **MEIQI** : How far along? Do you know?

 

 **YIXING** : Approximately 4 weeks.

 

“So before I showed up,” **TAEYONG** thinks. It shouldn’t sting his heart like this.

 

 **MEIQI** : Oh, I feel so honored and lucky to be able to provide His Majesty with an heir!

 

 **YIXING** : (He nods and smiles politely) Yes, what happy news indeed.

 

 **MEIQI** turns to **TAEYONG** , speaking quickly. The happiness in her voice is present, but her demeanor still deferential to her **QUEEN**.

 

 **MEIQI** : I… I hope I did not upset you, Your Grace—

 

 **TAEYONG** : **MEIQI** , I am your friend. My title may be different now, but I have never stopped considering you as my precious friend.

 

The female consort eases up considerably.

 

 **MEIQI** : Thank you. I hope that the news of my pregnancy will bring you and His Excellency a fortune of happiness.

 

 **TAEYONG** forces the most convincing smile he can as they both thank **DR. ZHANG** for his time and spread the news of an heir.

 

 **YIXING** is, quite frankly, worried.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> well this definitely complicates things


	17. ACT 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> one summer class, a whole ass writer's block, and me prioritizing my bts fan fiction for a minute later, i have risen from the dead and updated this fic. i hope it lives up to everyone's expectations!

 

A field of white. The soft cascade of snow. Naked ebony trees donning short, icy stalactites in place of their fallen leaves. **TAEYONG** is dressed from head to toe in warm clothes, and he has a giant wool scarf covering half his face. The redhead muses that he has at least three layers on his person. It’s still cold.

 

Someone’s footsteps crunch against the snowy ground. **TAEYONG** ’s ears perk up at the new presence. He turns his head to catch a glimpse of the newcomer’s face.

 

He wakes up.

 

~*~

 

 **TAEYONG** : Are you excited to be having an heir?

 

 **YONG QIN** doesn’t reply. He’s in too deep with reading reports from his generals and planning war strategies. **TAEYONG** mistakes it as his husband (he will never get used to calling **YONG QIN** that) disregarding his presence, so he creeps to the bedroom and flops onto the silky mattress. Reading a scroll sounds like a good idea right now actually.

 

 **YONG QIN** finishes the last of his duties and leans back in his chair, stretching his arms. He hears his bones snap continuously as leans back further. The **KING** ’s eyes widen. He’s not that old yet, he swears.

 

 **YONG QIN** makes his way to the master bedroom. He’s shocked to find his wife sitting on his respective side of the bed, long fingers grazing over the characters of Chinese text, not once taking his eyes off the paper. The **KING** clears his throat.

 

 **TAEYONG** : (He looks up from his scroll) Good evening.

 

 **YONG QIN** : When did you return?

 

 **TAEYONG** : Almost an hour ago.

 

 **YONG QIN** : Truly?

 

 **TAEYONG** : I asked if you were excited to have an heir and you ignored me.

 

 **YONG QIN** : (He frowns, but then he sits next to him on the bed) What are you talking about?

 

 **TAEYONG** : Didn’t you hear? Consort **MEIQI** is pregnant.

 

 **YONG QIN** pauses. He looks towards the ornate doorway. His silence uneases **TAEYONG**. Oh no, did he do it again? Invoke the **KING** ’s wrath? _Well shi—_

 

 **YONG QIN** : You said you come from the future?

 

 **TAEYONG** : (He blinks a couple times, kind of shocked at the question) Yeah. What does that have to do with anything?

 

 **YONG QIN** : What are couples like in the future?

 

Well… **TAEYONG** definitely wasn’t expecting that. It would’ve been better if **YONG QIN** had answered his question though…

 

 **TAEYONG** : Where I’m from… Well, it’s hard to say. Every couple is different.

 

 **YONG QIN** : (He scoffs and his voice drips with sarcasm) Interesting. I had not already guessed that.

 

 **TAEYONG** : I wouldn’t know, alright? At least, not really. I’ve seen all my friends and siblings get into relationships but I’ve never had a boyfriend.

 

 **YONG QIN** : Boyfriend?

 

 **TAEYONG** : Y’know, like, a lover. Or a significant other.

 

 **YONG QIN** : … What?

 

 **TAEYONG** : Boyfriend? You know like someone you love before you marry them? Oh, oh wait! That’s right. Wartime. No time to actually know what love is like because everybody is dying.

 

 **YONG QIN** : (He rolls his eyes) Do not mock us. We know how to love. The war does not stop us from loving. You have seen it firsthand, have you not? Like how **GENERAL WU** is utterly bewitched by **DR. ZHANG**?

 

 **TAEYONG** : God, they’re both disgusting.

 

 **YONG QIN** : Painfully so.

 

 **TAEYONG** giggles and playfully shoves **YONG QIN** ’s side. The redhead’s eyes go wide with anxiety and he glances at the **KING**. He’s hoping he’s not going to be executed today for something so petty. Instead, he’s greeted with equally playful eyes and **YONG QIN** shoves back, much to **TAEYONG** ’s relief and delight.

 

 **YONG QIN** : But you have never loved anyone before?

 

 **TAEYONG** : Oh… no, no. I never had a significant other. But I do have feelings for someone. (He brings his hands into his lap and looks down at them)

 

 **YONG QIN** : It is not me, is it?

 

 **TAEYONG** pauses and looks for any trace of a trap hiding in his words. When there is no trace of malice in his eyes, **TAEYONG** relaxes slightly.

 

 **TAEYONG** : I’m sorry.

 

 **YONG QIN** : (He shrugs nonchalantly) I needed a wife to reassure my people that the Li family line will continue, even if my choice was unorthodox. You needed to get the hell out of the consort’s court. It was a mutual exchange.

 

 **TAEYONG** ’s ears perk up at the other’s remark. He turns to the **KING** and glares holes into him. **YONG QIN** doesn’t flinch.

 

 **TAEYONG** : I don’t know who the hell you think you are, but I didn’t need to be “saved” by you. I was fine where I was. I had friends who cared about me and now they can’t even look at me the same because suddenly I’m the **QUEEN** of Li and they don’t think they’re worthy of being within my line of vision, when I’m still just the same old **LEE TAEYONG** I’ve always been!

 

 **YONG QIN** : (He lets out an amused scoff and he rises from his seat on the bed.) Your naiveté is the exact reason why I needed to get you the hell out of there.

 

 **TAEYONG** : Fuck you! I don't even care anymore about your holier than thou, knight in shining armor complex! Stop treating me like I'm an idiot and cut the cryptic bullshit for once! I’m so fucking tired of you keeping me in the dark!

 

 **YONG QIN** turns back to face his wife. He grabs his face forcefully and holds **TAEYONG** ’s face close to his. The redhead is tempted to spit in the other's face, but those obsidian eyes still terrify him. He settles for a scowl.

 

 **YONG QIN** : Learn to look past the mask they put on. Not all of them are as kind you think.

 

The **KING** leaves the bed chambers, leaving **TAEYONG** in the cold once again. He has trouble going to sleep.

 

~*~

 

The next morning, **TAEYONG** wakes up extremely late. **CHENLE** gently shakes the sleeping **QUEEN** from his slumber, fearing possible repercussions if he were to do anything more than a gentle nudge. **TAEYONG** opens his eyes and smiles at the servant, much to the younger boy’s surprise.

 

 **TAEYONG** : (His voice is thick with sleep) Good morning, **CHENLE**.

 

 **CHENLE** : (His eyes widen with shock) Oh… G-Good morning, Your Grace… Are you not mad at me for waking you up?

 

 **TAEYONG** : No, of course not. (He sits up in bed and stretches his body) What time is it?

 

 **CHENLE** : It is almost lunchtime…

 

 **TAEYONG** : I slept for that long!?

 

 **CHENLE** : The **KING** had told the servants to not wake you… but it started getting later into the day and Your Grace was not waking up and it is almost noon—

 

 **TAEYONG** : **CHENLE** , you don’t have to ramble. I already said I wasn't mad at you, didn't I? I'm just surprised I slept in until now. Thank you for waking me up.

 

 **CHENLE** : (His shoulders relax and he smiles after not getting scolded. He brightens up back to his usual happy-go-lucky self) The pleasure was all mine, Your Highness. Please come straight to the dining hall when you are ready. (He bows deeply and scurries out of the royal bed chambers, a small skip in his step)

 

 **TAEYONG** giggles at the child servant’s enthusiasm and proceeds to get ready to take on what is left of the day. He still can’t seem to get used to dressing in the finest golden and vermilion silks, but it doesn’t shock him as much anymore.

 

If only he could get used to the way people avoid his stare when he looks to smile at them.

 

 **TAEYONG** manages lunchtime well, and that’s due to **YONG QIN** ‘s lack of presence at the table today. **MEIQI** informs him that the **KING** is cooped up in a strategy meeting with the entire council of advisors (also explains why **KUN** is nowhere to be found also).

 

Lunch is wrapping up. **TAEYONG** is reaching for his last cup of tea when he sees them:

 

 **XUKUN** , who is shamelessly flirting and enticing his “handsome Excellency” to indulge in his “prettiest consort,” and **YONG QIN** walking together. **XUKUN** loops his arm around the **KING** and coaxes him into the consort’s room, even though there is an obvious scowl on **YONG QIN** ’s face.

 

 **TAEYONG** wills himself to not drop his cup, full of scalding hot tea, into his lap.

 

So this is what **YONG QIN** meant.

 


	18. ACT 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i feel like i'm dragging this on and on but pls bear with me ( ; . ; )
> 
> there are only a few chapters left before this wraps up. i can't guarantee a date of WHEN it will happen since my last year of university starts in about T-16 hours, but it will happen! promise the ending will come soon
> 
> thank you for all the support that's come in thus far, i love you all ♡

**YONG QIN** feels bad about the way he acted towards **TAEYONG** last night. If anything, he‘s always felt bad for how coldly he’s treated the other. He knows it’s no excuse to keep treating the other badly, but it really is to keep him safe.

 

 **XUKUN** : My **KING** , are you not coming?

 

 **YONG QIN** : Leave me, Consort **CAI**. I will not ask you any more, lest you want your head on a spike.

 

 **XUKUN** : (He looks like he wants to protest more, but he shuts his mouth and bows to **YONG QIN** before leaving)

 

 **YONG QIN** sighs and makes his way to his study. He rubs his eyes, exhaustion overflowing throughout his body. He doesn’t register the fuming presence that is his wife.

 

 **TAEYONG** : (Storming into the **KING** ’s study) What the fuck is your problem?

 

 **YONG** **QIN** : (He’s startled, but he schools his expression into a neutral one and closes his scrolls) I am afraid you must elaborate, my dear wife.

 

 **TAEYONG** : Don’t fucking call me that! I _never_ consented to marrying you!

 

 **YONG** **QIN** : As a king, my orders are absolute. So whether you like it or you scorn it, you are my wife.

 

Fuck, no, this isn’t what he wants to say.

 

 **TAEYONG** : (He lets out a frustrated scream) Fine, _Your Majesty_! If I’m your wife, then that makes me queen, doesn’t it? Why the fuck do you still have a consort’s court!?

 

 **YONG** **QIN** : (He quirks an eyebrow) What is this about, **TAEYONG**?

 

 **TAEYONG** : Why don’t you tell me why you’re fucking around with **XUKUN**!?

 

 **YONG QIN** : (He narrows his eyebrows and scowls at the _ridiculous_ accusation) Allow me to clear up this misunderstanding. I am not “fucking around” with Consort **CAI**. _He_ was the one trying to bewitch _me_. Now surely you know that I would rather approach who I want to sleep with instead of agreeing to those who come to me.

 

 **TAEYONG** can’t argue back because he knows that’s true. He’s never seen **YONG** **QIN** take up the advances of others. It’s always him doing the approaching. But the reality that **XUKUN** , someone he trusted, went behind his back to… to what? Seduce **YONG** **QIN**?

 

Honestly, he shouldn’t have had a reason to react this strongly…

 

… right?

 

 **YONG QIN** : (He speaks up after a few moments of silence) Are you upset?

 

 **TAEYONG** : (He looks up at the **KING** and glares daggers into his eyes) Yes, I’m upset!! (He has tears in his eyes even though he’s fuming) But I don’t know why I’m fucking upset! I just— I just don’t want to trust you after everything that’s happened! At the very least, if I matter to you at all, get rid of the consort’s court!

 

 **YONG** **QIN** : (He sighs resignedly) You are free to believe my side or not… but I am still the **KING** of Li. I could have dissolved my consort’s court as soon as I married you, but I did not. My predecessors have never done so, and I refuse to bring shame to my bloodline. Married or not. (He stands up from his chair) So give me one good reason why I should listen to you and betray my filial piety.

 

 **TAEYONG** : Fuck that bullshit logic! _I’m your wife, goddammit!_

 

 **YONG** **QIN** : … (He cups **TAEYONG** ’s cheeks gently and brings him closer to his, their foreheads touching)

 

This sort of contact is oddly comforting, and **TAEYONG** wants to indulge in it, even if he feels like he doesn’t deserve it. But with this new level of intimacy, there’s a strange surge of curiosity in **TAEYONG** ’s chest. It’s something he’s never delved into before, nor has he given it much light of day. But he decides to fuck everything and ask anyway.

 

 **TAEYONG** : **YONG** **QIN** … what are we?

 

 **YONG QIN** : (He opens his mouth to speak, but no sound comes out. There’s conflict in his eyes) … Did you not just say it?

 

 **TAEYONG** : Me saying it and you defining it in your own words are two different matters. (He grasps **YONG QIN** ’s hands holding both his cheeks) So tell me before I go crazy — do I fucking matter to you? Because we don’t have much time before the Qin state tramples us and I do not want to spend the last days I have arguing with you anymore.

 

 **YONG QIN** : (He sighs tiredly) You are the tenth queen of Li and my wife, **TAEYONG**.

 

 **TAEYONG** : That’s not good enough, you bastard, and you know it.

 

 **YONG QIN** : (He sighs again and starts stroking his cheeks on either side of his face) You are the tenth queen of Li, the first male to be made so in the history of our kingdom, and my wife. Not only that, but whether you are aware of it or not, you are the first to break me down faster than I could ever hope to break you. I am weak to your tears, and weaker when you smile. It frightens me to my core, because all I think of is you. Yet as sweet as this sentiment is, there is a darkness to me that craves to punish those who do you wrong just so I can protect you, even if it pains you, me, and our people. You are too beautiful, too kind, but too out of place for this world. Yet you have made your presence known and the people of Li adore you. (He places a ghost of a kiss on **TAEYONG** ’s lips. His voice becomes so quiet that it can’t be considered a whisper) _I_ adore you.

 

It’s a foreign feeling hearing such affectionate words pour out of **YONG QIN** ’s lips. And as nice as it sounds, **TAEYONG** is left confused. **YONG** **QIN** adores him? Since when? And he thought he was beautiful? Sure, **TAEYONG** has had his fair share of people calling him attractive, but never from someone who treated him so coldly. In all honesty, he’s feeling distressed and _still_ unable to trust the **KING** ’s words.

 

 **TAEYONG** : Then why are you _still_ so cold to me?

 

 **YONG QIN** hesitates, mulling over words in his head.

 

He can’t come up with an answer.

 

 **YONG QIN** : I… I cannot answer that at this time.

 

 **TAEYONG** : **LI YONG QIN**! Don’t you dare run away from me again!

 

 **YONG QIN** : (There’s an indescribable pain hiding deep in his eyes, and in his heart) Sometimes it feels like I have to, because I cannot bear the thought of you leaving me first.

 

The **KING** dismisses himself and shuts the door to the master bedroom. The coldness on the other side of the bed is no longer reassuring for **TAEYONG**.

 

Actually, it’s never been reassuring since their “wedding day.”

 


	19. ACT 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi everyone! so i apologize for my absence, and that today's update is pretty short. university has been crazy. i'm balancing my life with an internship, my leadership role in my club, and my classes of course. i haven't forgotten about my works though! i'm glad this story has received so much support thus far, and we're coming to an end soon! (such a bittersweet feeling...)
> 
> i also referenced a character in my close friend's story. so !!! :")
> 
> ALSO WHO IS HYPED FOR SUPER M??? WE'RE GONNA GET THE TAETEN CONTENT WE HAVE BEEN DEPRIVED OF YEHET
> 
> and i'm going to their concert in january because they're performing at my university WOOHOOOOOOO

 

The room is dark and stuffy, yet it still feels cold. There’s a small ball of yarn, no larger than the size of a child’s fist, sitting atop a pedestal and the threads tangle with each other as branch out from all sides. Some are as long as a river and still growing, others are short and frayed at the ends. Yet they are all suspended in midair, as if held together by some otherworldly force.

 

**ZITAO** likes this room.

 

He likes his solitude. He likes that he doesn’t have to do much, doesn’t have to interact with anyone. He’d always been a lone wolf, but it never bothered him.

 

He never minded when **LU HAN** or **YIXING** visited him though, because they were always welcome. They were some of the few people who were never turned off by his brooding or his curt attitude. Well, besides one other person, but lately, **ASHER** has been too busy to say hello.

 

There were a multitude of times also when **ZITAO** , instead of indulging in some leisure with the others, ditched his friends in favor of his carrying out his duty. It was also not uncommon for **ZITAO** to scold the two older men for neglecting their duties, which always had **LU** **HAN** and **YIXING** sharing a chuckle.

 

There’s nothing funny about his job though. **ZITAO** takes his duty _very_ seriously, because if he even takes his eyes off of his work for a moment, things will go to shit.

 

At least, that’s what he likes to tell himself, even though he knows that’s a lie.

 

The cold room he enters feels colder today. He’s entered this room many times, yet there have been very few times where **ZITAO** feels like he’s being frozen on the spot. He takes a deep breath and untangles a yarn string from the mob of thread. The string is slowly materializing, which **ZITAO** finds concerning.

 

The sad part is that he can’t say he didn’t see this coming.

 

__________

 

 

**YONG QIN** : Tell me what you found.

 

**YIXING** : (He produces scrolls on scrolls of military plans from his robe, his face growing grimmer by the second)

 

**YIFAN** : Your suspicions were confirmed, My **KING**. Consort **CAI XUKUN** is indeed working for the Qin state.

 

__________

 

 

**230 BCE**

 

The State of Han, the weakest of the Seven Warring States, is conquered by the much stronger Qin State.

 


	20. ACT 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i genuinely don't know why i took so long on this chapter smh

 

**TAEYONG** : Tell me it’s a lie.

 

**XUKUN** stands before him, his hands bound with rope and his expression unreadable.He’s stripped of his colorful vermillion and gold robes. The ragtag clothes of a war prisoner is a shocking contrast with his angular, handsome face.

 

**GENERAL WU** shakes his head sympathetically, then he signals to **GENERAL WONG** to escort the former Consort **CAI** to the prison cells.

 

**YIFAN** : How does Your Grace fare?

 

**TAEYONG** blinks up at the guard with glassy eyes, his brows furrowed in the middle as he attempts to muster a convincing smile.

 

He fails.

 

**TAEYONG** : (His tone is sardonic but a tear rolls down his cheek) Will **YONG QIN** be gloating about this to my face?

 

To **TAEYONG** ’s surprise, **GENERAL WU** frowns.

 

**YIFAN** : I will not speak for my King, Your Highness. But seeing as he and I are as close as family, I would like to think he would not be so cruel to you.

 

The general ushers for **TAEYONG** to walk back to the royal chambers, the tall man following close behind his Queen. **TAEYONG** ’s steps feel heavy, and it’s a miracle that he even makes it to his shared bedroom with **YONG QIN**.

 

Surprisingly, **MEIQI** is by the **KING** ’s side when **TAEYONG** arrives.

 

**TAEYONG** : **MEIQI** …

 

**MEIQI** : (She walks over and wraps him in a gentle hug) I heard about what happened.

 

**TAEYONG** : (He rests his chin on her shoulder, feeling too weak to return her hug)

 

**YONG QIN** : If I may have a word with my wife, Consort **MENG** , **GENERAL WU**.

 

**MEIQI** gently squeezes **TAEYONG** once before following **GENERAL WU** out of the royal chambers. The double doors close behind them softly.

 

Uncharacteristically, **YONG QIN** ’s hands hover over **TAEYONG** ’s cautiously, as if asking for permission. The older boy shrugs and meets him halfway.

 

**YONG QIN** ’s hands are warm.

 

**YONG QIN** : Are you okay?

 

**TAEYONG** wants to laugh.

 

**TAEYONG** : Someone I thought I could trust turns out to be a conniving snake who was after your head and instead of your usual sarcastic remarks, you’re asking me if I’m okay?

 

**YONG QIN** : Well, are you?

 

The snide remarks are familiar. Had it been three weeks ago, perhaps **TAEYONG** would have had it in him to punch some sense into **YONG** **QIN** for using his own words against him.

 

But the words are not threatening at all. It’s familiar, and at least this is something that is, _will be_ constant. **TAEYONG** actually thinks he can consider this to be playful banter, _wants_ to think he can consider this to be playful banter.

 

He probably shouldn't think so, but it’s nice to know that **YIFAN** was right.

 

**TAEYONG** : (His voice barely above a whisper) I’m better now.

 

**__________**

 

 

The same night of Consort **XUKUN** ’s arrest is not one **TAEYONG** , or _anyone_ really, saw coming. As the Li Queen is about to retire to bed, **CHENLE** comes into the royal chambers frantically.

 

**TAEYONG** : **CHENLE**? Is everything okay?

 

**CHENLE** : Y-Your Grace, we must evacuate.

 

**TAEYONG** : **CHENLE** , tell me what’s wrong.

 

**CHENLE** : The Qin state has invaded the estate, my Queen. We must evacuate quickly.

 

**TAEYONG** feels his blood go cold. His knuckles go white as he clenches his hands into tightly wound fists. He can tell that **CHENLE** is urging him to “please rise from bed, Your Grace, and let us hurry.” But **TAEYONG** is frozen in his seat on the bed. His mind is only able to process one name.

 

**TAEYONG: YONG QIN.** Bring me to **YONG QIN**.

 

**CHENLE** : The King has ordered me to take you to a safe house—

 

**TAEYONG:** _Please_ , **CHENLE**. (He clasps the young boy’s hands into his own and he squeezes them weakly). I’m begging you. Please take me to my husband. I need to see him.

  
****

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey you!
> 
> yeah, you
> 
> i finally jumped on the bandwagon and did a thing: [bird account](https://twitter.com/yun19913)
> 
> if you haven't followed me already and you wanna, be my guest. much appreciated :")


	21. ACT 21

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _And they will know of this tragic story — of a young, foolish king who fell in love with a beautiful, foreign consort. One that is crossing towns and cities and kingdoms and empires._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey you!
> 
> yeah, you
> 
> thank you so much for supporting this story with hits, kudos, bookmarks, subscriptions, and the like! it's been such a fun story to write, and from the bottom of my heart, i thank each and every one of you.
> 
> i also finally jumped on the band wagon and i did a thing: [bird account](https://twitter.com/yun19913)
> 
> if you wanna give me a follow to be the first to know when i am going to update the ending of crossing empires, gimme a follow! i'd love to see you guys scream at me once it comes :")

**CHENLE** and **TAEYONG** run.

 

Forget that the palace is quaking from the unforeseen parade that is the Qin militia. Forget that **TAEYONG** can hear the screams of the Li kingdom’s common people as they fruitlessly run for their lives. Forget that the inexperienced Li soldiers stand no chance against Qin swords and arrows. Forget that the damp earth where the wheat and millet grains grow is now stained crimson. Forget that **TAEYONG** can no longer smell cumin as he and **CHENLE** zip past the kitchen, but instead they smell blood.

 

One more thing to forget — the warm grip of **CHENLE** ’s small hand around **TAEYONG** ’s bony wrist.

 

It happens too fast. Before **TAEYONG** can even process a millisecond of the event, the child is ripped from the older boy. He hears a muffled gasp that morphs itself into a pained sob. **TAEYONG** belatedly turns around to see that an armed soldier in strange armor has pierced a long sword into the boy’s frail body. **CHENLE** screams, but not because of the pain.

 

 **CHENLE** : Go, Your Grace!

 

 **TAEYONG** : **CHENLE**!!

 

And all too quickly, _all too cruelly_ , the long sword is withdrawn. The once pristine, shiny steel of the Qin soldier’s blade is now tainted red. **TAEYONG** heeds **CHENLE** ’s last words and continues running before he can become the next casualty. He doesn’t see the soldier discard **CHENLE** ’s dying body.

 

As he runs, **TAEYONG** places a hand against his open mouth to stop himself from screaming, hot tears stinging his eyes. He wants nothing more than to stop running, bring back **CHENLE** ’s body — bring back _all the bodies_ — and bury them properly. Not leave them to rot away in a bath of their own blood.

 

He reaches the throne room, luckily, _thankfully_ , with no one on his trail. **TAEYONG** slams his body against the weight of the twin doors tripled his size. It hurts, but the doors have barely moved and he has to get through. Somehow, his adrenaline high agrees with him and he manages to push it open after a couple more body slams.

 

 **YONG QIN** greets him a knife pointed at his carotid. Realizing that it is actually his wife, he lowers the blade immediately and ushers the queen inside. He then rushes to close the twin doors again, cursing the rickety sound for giving away their hiding spot. But he knows his fate.

 

All he’s doing is buying time anyway.

 

 **TAEYONG** : You have shitty taste in hiding.

 

 **YONG QIN** : As do you, seeing that you were the one to seek for me.

 

A scowl mars **TAEYONG** ’s face and he paces around in a small circle. **YONG QIN** observes him for a moment, then he makes his way back to the throne.

 

 **YONG QIN** : (He quietly sits down on his throne) … It is to my understanding that you called for me.

 

 **TAEYONG** doesn’t have it in him to retort back. He walks over to his husband and lifelessly sits down in his lap, shrinking in size and tucking his head underneath the younger man’s chin.

 

 **TAEYONG** : I’m tired.

 

 **YONG QIN** sighs and delicately runs his hand through the older boy’s tousled locks. The king mistakes **TAEYONG** ’s warm breath fanning against his Adam’s apple as the other falling asleep, but **TAEYONG** ’s large eyes are still wide awake.

 

 **YONG QIN** : Sleep, my Queen.

 

 **TAEYONG** : No.

 

 **YONG QIN** : (He sighs, annoyed that his wife’s stubbornness still persists even at this moment, but he keeps his voice patient) Why?

 

 **TAEYONG** : Because I’m afraid that if I fall asleep, I’ll never wake up.

 

 **YONG QIN** pulls away slightly and blinks back at the boy in his arms. It’s so blatantly obvious that **TAEYONG** wants nothing more than to sleep. The queen was supposed to be resting at this hour, not fearing for his life because of a snake.

 

 **TAEYONG** : (He looks down when **YONG** **QIN** stares at him, then gasps) Your clothes — did you get hurt?

 

 **YONG QIN** : (He raises an eyebrow) Did you not realize, Your Grace? It is _your_ clothes that are soiled with blood.

 

 **TAEYONG** inspects the sleeves of his nightgown and his face contorts in horror. He hadn’t realized it before because of its vibrant vermilion hue, but now that he has time to sit down and look at himself, **TAEYONG** can identify the large splotches of crimson.

 

 **YONG QIN** gingerly cups his wife’s face and circles his thumb around his cheekbone. It’s when he feels wetness against the other’s warm fingers does **TAEYONG** realize he’s crying.

 

 **TAEYONG** : (His voice is a hoarse whisper) God, I really hope none of this blood is **CHENLE** ’s…

 

 **YONG QIN** uses the slow but steady stream of tears to clean off a small constellation of blood along **TAEYONG** ’s cheekbone. It doesn’t rub off smoothly, but he manages to wipe it away.

 

 **YONG QIN** : What can I do to ease you?

 

 **TAEYONG** laughs weakly. Death really does bring people together.

 

 **TAEYONG** : I don’t know. I just— (He draws in a shaky breath) I just want to go home. But I got dragged into this mess for… for who in fucking Hell knows why. I won’t ever get to see my family again and, I… just — fuck, I just miss them so much. I miss my dad’s cooking the most.

 

 **YONG QIN** : Then tell me about them.

 

 **TAEYONG** looks back at the king with glassy eyes. A single tear from each eye dribbles down at his demand.

 

 **YONG QIN** : (In a softer voice) Tell me about them.

 

 **TAEYONG** obliges.

 

 **TAEYONG** : I’m adopted.

 

( **YONG QIN’** s eyes widen comically at the information, and **TAEYONG** chuckles at the cartoonish reaction. He figures that the concept of adoption is strange and uncommon during this time.)

 

 **TAEYONG** : My mother and father died when I was about four years old. I don’t remember much about them, if I’m being honest.

 

He looks back at **YONG QIN** to gage his reaction. His husband looks at him expectantly, waiting for him to continue, so **TAEYONG** does.

 

 **TAEYONG** : My mother’s brother adopted me. But I didn’t find out he was my uncle until I was 18, so I had only ever called him Appa.

 

 **YONG QIN** : A… ppa?

 

 **TAEYONG** : (He nods) Appa. It means “Dad” in Kor… in my language.

 

(Because he isn’t sure about what state Korea is in during this time.)

 

 **TAEYONG** : Will you be shocked if I go further about my family? Not many people have… received the information on my family too well.

 

 **YONG QIN** scoffs.

 

 **YONG QIN** : I married you, did I not?

 

It’s banter yet again. **TAEYONG** hits the other boy in retaliation, but a boyish grin blooms on **YONG QIN** ’s face.

 

_Beautiful._

 

 **TAEYONG** : I have two fathers. Their names are **JUNG** **YUNHO** and **KIM** **JAEJOONG**. I never found it strange to grow up with two fathers, but my siblings and I were always bullied for not being a “normal” family. Especially my little brother **JONGIN**. He, uh… He was born from a surrogate.

 

 **YONG QIN** : Surrogate? What is that?

 

 **TAEYONG** : In the future, there’s this expensive procedure where two men can mix their sperm together and ask a woman to take it so she can carry and conceive the child. It’s really complicated and I don’t think I’ll have any time to explain it, but **JONGIN** is the only one out of my siblings who was born from my fathers.

 

 **YONG QIN** : I see…

 

 **TAEYONG** : You’re judging me, aren’t you?

 

 **YONG QIN** shakes his head.

 

 **YONG QIN** : Truly, I am fascinated. Tell me more about your siblings.

 

 **TAEYONG** : (A small smile tugs at his lips) I’m the third child out of five. I have one older brother, **DAEHYUN** , but I call him Hyung, which is the same as gege. **JANG** **MI** Noona, or my jiejie, is my Hyung’s twin. They’re like opposites. Hyung is direct and a little impulsive, but he wears his heart on his sleeve. There’s not a day that goes by where he reminds everyone that he loves us. Noona’s more reserved, and she’s a sarcastic prick like you. (He nudges **YONG QIN** ’s shoulder playfully)

 

 **YONG QIN** : Perhaps I should have married your sister instead of this cheeky minx.

 

 **TAEYONG** : Good luck convincing her fiancee.

 

 **YONG QIN** : (He smiles warmly) Continue.

 

 **TAEYONG** : **JONGIN** is… adorably shy. But when he dances, it’s like the stage was made for him. He switches personas so quickly that sometimes I wonder, “Wow, is this the same person?” And **SAE GYEONG** — our adorable youngest brother. I know he feels like he’s being overshadowed by the rest of our siblings and our fathers don’t pay as much attention to him, but he rarely complain. And even when he wants to, he just swallows his words and works harder for himself and the family.

 

(A loud thud shakes the entirety of the throne room, a harsh reminder that they cannot evade their reality. **YONG QIN** hoists **TAEYONG** up from his lap and makes him sit down on the ornate chair instead. **TAEYONG** ’s hands are clammy and his eyes wide with fear. **YONG QIN** intertwines their hands and kneels down at the other’s feet.)

 

 **YONG QIN** : Breathe, my Queen. I promise this will pass.

 

 **TAEYONG** : You can’t promise me shit, **YONG QIN**! We’re going to fucking die here! How the fuck are you not worried?!

 

 **YONG QIN** : Have faith. (He places something in the palm of **TAEYONG** ’s hand, then he wraps the other boy’s fingers securely around the object) I promise you that nothing will hurt you.

 

 **TAEYONG** : Stop making false promises—

 

 **YONG QIN** : I promise. (He stands up from where he kneels and gently cups **TAEYONG** ’s cheek) Close your eyes.

 

 **TAEYONG** : … Why?

 

 **YONG QIN** : Because I am going to kiss you. Unless you prefer to kiss someone with your eyes open?

 

 **TAEYONG** wants to fight, kick and scream because how can **YONG QIN** think of kissing him when they are seconds away from dying? But he doesn’t have the energy in him to do so, and he does as **YONG QIN** requests.

 

But the kiss never comes.

 

 **TAEYONG** feels something cold and heavy slip onto his left ring finger. **YONG QIN’** s warm breath ghosts the shell of his ear.

 

_And they will know of this tragic story — of a young, foolish king who fell in love with a beautiful, foreign consort. One that is crossing towns and cities and kingdoms and empires._

 

 **TAEYONG** thinks he’s mishearing things.

 

“Goodbye, **TAEYONG**.”

 


	22. ACT 22

 

**_2 November 2019_ **

**_The hospital staff advised me to take up journaling as a way to get out what I feel. But as overwhelming as things are, I don’t even know how to put what I feel in words._ **

**_They said they found me in the street, in my blood-stained nightgown robe. They said I had been crying and wouldn’t stop. They asked me about my whereabouts for this past month, but I can’t give them an answer on it._ **

**_Because how is anyone going to believe me when I say I traveled back to the past?_ **

**_So I said nothing. They diagnosed me with PTSD. Which I don’t know if I agree with, but they swear I wake up in the middle of the night and cry for the same people. They said I usually call out for Yong Qin, but I sometimes cry out for Dr. Zhang or General Wu or Chenle or Kun. On one occasion, they told me I cried out for Sicheng._ **

**_But I don’t even remember the times I do wake up. I feel restless everyday but when I sleep, I see flashes of dead bodies and the scent of death follows me all the time._ **

**_I feel sick but I don’t want treatment from them. I just want closure._ **

**_29 November 2019_ **

**_It’s been a while since I’ve written. But I was released from the hospital two days ago._ **

**_But ever since I left, a part of me has felt torn out. I don’t know what to call it, and I don’t know if I’ll learn to cope with it anytime soon._ **

**_Because all I think about is how did I even return to my time? Why did the God of Time send me back there in the first place? I have so many unanswered questions I keep thinking about that I feel nauseous every time._ **

**_I missed my family so much. It was nice of them to visit me regularly while I was in the hospital, and I’m not going to deny that it feels good to be back. I missed eating Appa’s kimchi stew._ **

**_They treat me like glass. I know it’s only been two days, but I haven’t had any of those… recollections from my time in the Li kingdom, so I would like to think that, for the most part, I am back to who I used to be before._ **

**_I still think about them constantly. But I don’t think this is something healthy I should be doing._ **

**_Yong Qin, as much of a dick as he was, he had his moments where he actually was a decent human being._ **

**_I’m not saying he was a saint, but he was more than just the king of Li._ **

**_Maybe my sympathy is misplaced. Because there are days where I wonder if I made this up. But I look at the ring on my left hand and I know for a fact that I didn’t make this up._ **

**_I want to go back to university. I need something, anything really to take my mind off of this, but I’m already behind on my courses that it would be impossible for me to catch up. I have to wait until springtime to return to my studies. But I know that I want to add a minor in history._ **

**_For a little less than a month, I was experiencing history. Or… a history that went completely unnoticed after hundreds and thousands of years._ **

**_I wonder if history had known about the Li kingdom, what would they think about it? Would they write praises for keeping peace when everywhere around them was a war zone? Or would they label them as people who constantly lived in hiding and refused to acknowledge the tragedy of war? Would they paint Yong Qin as a saint? Would they find out the not-so-saintly deeds and label him a tyrant?_ **

**_I think there isn’t a moment that goes by where I don’t think about him. What is my truth when it comes to him? Should I hate him because he has done unforgivable things to me and my body? Should I forgive him for the sake of keeping myself sane? Or should I pretend none of this ever happened? I don’t know._ **

**_I just know that I wish I had more time._ **


	23. ACT 23

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> did i dedicate a whole chapter as a nod to my best friend's story? hell yes i did

 

 **DR. LAWRENCE** : How are you feeling today, **TAEYONG** -ssi?

 

 **TAEYONG** sits down in front of the doctor. He offers the tall man a small smile once he’s settled in the familiar black leather ottoman.

 

He’s been seeing **DR. LAWRENCE** for almost a whole month now. He saw the young psychiatrist almost daily while he was still in the hospital. **TAEYONG** really had no need to keep seeing him after he was discharged from the hospital, but **KIM** **JAEJOONG** is not a parent anybody would dare to challenge.

 

 **TAEYONG** had no plans to go against his dad anyway. He enjoys his bi-weekly therapy sessions with **DR. LAWRENCE**.

 

 **TAEYONG** : For the most part, I’m okay. A little jittery, but I’m okay.

 

 **DR. LAWRENCE** : (He chuckles) Didn’t we agree you would cut back on the caffeine?

 

 **TAEYONG** : I haven’t had coffee since our first session.

 

 **DR. LAWRENCE** : Hmm… (There’s a knowing glint in his caramel eyes and he pushes his glasses a little higher up on his nose bridge) But you have been drinking something else in its place, right? (He glances over at the Starbucks drink in **TAEYONG** ’s hand)

 

 **TAEYONG** : (He playfully shields his drink from his therapist’s line of vision) Leave me and my pink drink alone!

 

 **TAEYONG** enjoys the comfortable atmosphere between them. He had expected an older gentleman in his 50’s or 60’s, not the young brunette man sitting in front of him in his late twenties. Though he can never get used calling **DR. LAWRENCE** by his first name, it’s nice to know that his therapist considers him more than just a patient.

 

 **TAEYONG** : I don’t really have much to talk about today, **DR. LAWRENCE** —

 

 **DR. LAWRENCE** : How many times do I have to tell you to call me **ASHER**? **DR. LAWRENCE** is my father.

 

 **TAEYONG** : The difference between us is that I’m a mentally and emotionally troubled college student and you’re a put-together, brilliant psychiatrist at 29.

 

 **ASHER** : (He tuts in amusement) Let’s not begin on this silly comparison battle. Now, you were saying?

 

 **TAEYONG** : Yeah, uh… I don’t really have much to say. It’s the same as last time.

 

 **ASHER** : So were you right? Did **JAEHYUN** ask you to watch the first snow with him?

 

 **TAEYONG** nods.

 

 **ASHER** : And what did you say?

 

 **TAEYONG** : … I… IchickenedoutandsaidIwouldthinkaboutit.

 

 **ASHER** : (He exhales disappointedly) **TAEYONG** …

 

 **TAEYONG** : I’m sorry! I’m really sorry, but I can’t say no when **JAEHYUN** looks so hopefully and pleadingly at me like that—!

 

 **ASHER** : You’re smart enough to know that it’s perfectly okay to not reciprocate someone else’s feelings. You’ve had to dish out rejections before, haven’t you?

 

 **TAEYONG** winces as he ponders a rather painful moment.

 

 

 

 ** _YONG QIN_ ** _: But you have never loved anyone before?_

**_TAEYONG_ ** _: Oh… no, no. I never had a significant other. But I do have feelings for someone. (He brings his hands into his lap and looks down at them)_

**_YONG QIN_ ** _: It is not me, is it?_

 

 **_TAEYONG_ ** _pauses and looks for any trace of a trap hiding in his words. When there is no trace of malice in his eyes,_ **_TAEYONG_ ** _relaxes slightly._

**_TAEYONG_ ** _: I’m sorry._

 

 

 

 **ASHER** : **TAEYONG**? Are you okay?

 

 **TAEYONG** snaps out of his reverie and offers the doctor an apologetic smile.

 

 **TAEYONG** : Yes, sorry. What were you saying?

 

 **ASHER** : I was just wondering if there was anything else you wanted to add about your **JAEHYUN** situation. You seem to be preoccupied with other matters… well, more than you usually are, anyway.

 

 **TAEYONG** : Ah… (He grips the circumference of his cup a little tighter) Well, I… I was hoping I could talk to **JAEHYUN** about it anyway and let him know that I can’t give him the love he hopes he can receive from me, but he could give **DOYOUNG** a chance. I’m just worried though that **JAEHYUN** won’t take the rejection well and **DOYOUNG** will get mad at me for hurting him. **DOYOUNG** has always been big on keeping our friendship intact…

 

 **ASHER** : You _do_ know that it isn’t your job to keep everyone happy, right? This is putting too much pressure on you. This isn’t a responsibility you should take up, nor is it something you can control. You can’t control who you have feelings for, and you also can’t control who develops feelings for you. If **JAEHYUN** gets hurt because he can’t understand your feelings like an adult or **DOYOUNG** holds your feelings against you, it’s not fair to you.

 

 **TAEYONG** : I… I know, but—

 

 **ASHER** : No buts. (He stands up and crosses the small distance between them to place a firm hand on **TAEYONG** ’s shoulder) Besides, they’re your friends first before anything. If they value you for who you are, they’ll consider where you’re coming from.

 

 **TAEYONG** offers him a weak smile.

 

 **TAEYONG** : Okay.

 

 **ASHER** : (He checks his watch) I hate to have to cut our appointment a little short, but I need to make a very important phone call. I’ll see you two weeks from now?

 

 **TAEYONG** nods and slings his messenger bag on his shoulder before zipping up his long padded coat.

 

 **TAEYONG** : I’ll see you next time. Tell **DALTON** -ssi I say hi!

 

 **ASHER** watches his patient leave his office, a smile painting his face. When the door creaks closed, he picks up the phone on his desk and dials a number.

 

 **VOICE** : Hello?

 

 **ASHER** : Hey, **YIXING**.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *whispers* I miss DoJae


	24. ACT 24

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i had intended to stop this fic at 25 chapters but honestly judging from the way things are going, i'm going to push it 30 chapters. hope you all don't mind <3 
> 
> __________

 

A field of white. The soft cascade of snow. Naked ebony trees donning short, icy stalactites in place of their fallen leaves. **TAEYONG** is dressed from head to toe in warm clothes, and he has a giant wool scarf covering half his face. The redhead muses that he has at least three layers on his person. It’s still cold.

 

Someone’s footsteps crunch against the snowy ground. **TAEYONG** ’s ears perk up at the new presence. He turns his head to catch a glimpse of the newcomer’s face.

 

 **JAEHYUN** : Did I keep you waiting?

 

 **TAEYONG** shakes his head.

 

 **TAEYONG** : I just got here.

 

 **JAEHYUN** is handsome. The proof is in the way his perfectly styled hair effortlessly compliments his sculpted face, as well as the way his pearly whites are on full display when he smiles.

 

 **JAEHYUN** is gentlemanly. The proof is in the way he opens the restaurant door for **TAEYONG** and pulling out the other’s seat before he can sit down, even if he knows **TAEYONG** is completely able to do those things himself.

 

 **JAEHYUN** is charming. The proof is in the way he cracks well-planned jokes and treats the wait staff with utmost courtesy, as well as the way he considers **TAEYONG** ’s personal tastes. After all, it was **JAEHYUN** who nudged **TAEYONG** to pick the restaurant and the former agreed with no complaint (“I love Chinese food, Hyung!”).

 

 **TAEYONG** is not blind about this, but it just feels _wrong_.

 

 **JAEHYUN** : Have you decided what you’re going to get, Hyung?

 

 **TAEYONG** answers him with a nod. When a waitress swings by to take their order, **TAEYONG** instinctively answers her in perfect Mandarin Chinese. He’s actually surprised with himself. The **GOD OF TIME** had let him keep his fluency in the language.

 

When he turns back to **JAEHYUN** , the younger boy’s eyes are wide with awe.

 

 **JAEHYUN** : Hyung, when did you learn how to speak Chinese?

 

 **TAEYONG** panics internally, but he has to think quick.

 

 **TAEYONG** : I never told you? I took lessons when I was in high school.

 

Because it’s not a complete lie. All his life, his family immersed him and his siblings in multiple languages. Both his fathers are fluent in Japanese and Korean, and his father **YUNHO** is also proficient in Mandarin Chinese. So it was no surprise when his siblings also picked up words from multiple languages.

 

 **JAEHYUN** gawks at this information though, which puzzles **TAEYONG** , because he’s pretty sure **JAEHYUN** knows this. He’s been friends with the younger boy since they were eating crayons during snack time in kindergarten.

 

 **JAEHYUN** : You were learning Chinese _and_ Thai during high school? Hyung, you’re a lot more amazing than I thought.

 

Thai?

 

No, that can’t be right.

 

 **TAEYONG** has no recollection os him ever expressing interest in learning Thai, let alone learning it at all. But before he can dwell on it, **JAEHYUN** continues the conversation.

 

 **JAEHYUN** : While we’re on it, you learned Thai for your penpal, right? How is he? Have you heard anything from him lately?

 

The penpal.

 

 **TAEYONG** places his metal chopsticks down with a soft clink and looks down at his still full plate.

 

He had found a box of letters tucked away in the corner of his room, next to his desk. The only time he had ever opened it was the first day he returned from the hospital. He had no idea how it got there and he definitely didn’t remember ever receiving all the letters. Some of them were dated as far back as his last year of middle school, which he assumed was when **TAEYONG** had supposedly began writing to this mysterious penpal.

 

The gist he got from the letters was that the penpal was a boy who was a year year younger than him. He was living in Thailand, but his heritage was Chinese and he was in love with dancing. But other than skimming through older papers and reading the most recent one, he never looked at the box again.

 

 **TAEYONG** : No, I haven’t heard from him in a while.

 

They continue talking about other subjects after **TAEYONG** ’s clipped reply. **JAEHYUN** mostly leads the conversations, but **TAEYONG** is attentive and answers back with appropriate feedback. But there’s just something strange that bubbles in his stomach, but he doesn’t know why or how to label it.

 

To quell the nagging feeling in his gut, he shovels a generous serving of noodles into his mouth.

 

__________

 

 

A field of white. The cascading snowfall slows, slows, slows. The view from the outside window goes by him like someone is vigorously flipping through the pages of a book.

 

The young man in his train cabin adjusts his coat so it wraps around his lean body a little more snugly. He hadn’t anticipated snowfall today, but he quite likes how it looks. The soft blue-white hue adds a nice, wistful touch to his otherwise boring commute.

 

 **STRANGER** : Is this seat taken?

 

The young man looks up and gives the newcomer a small chuckle. He gestures for the stranger to take the seat in front of him. The **STRANGER** slides into the booth and returns the young man’s smile with one of his own soft, angelic grin.

 

 **STRANGER** : I hope you don’t mind that it’s me meeting you today, but I know you’re going to love Seoul. It’s a beautiful place. That’s where I met **SE HUN**.

 

The young man tilts his head slightly to the side, urging for his new acquaintance to continue.

 

 **STRANGER** : I know you went through a lot this past month. I was worried you might not actually make it to the end, so I had to take matters into my own hands and cut the time short. It was the only way to guarantee that you would stay alive.

 

The young man looks down at the table separating them, his brows furrowed in some complex emotion. But the **STRANGER** continues.

 

 **STRANGER** : But I guess I thought wrong. You and him… I wouldn’t say you had it figured out, but… something was happening and it looked like you two were finally forming a bond. And I ruined that, so I’m sorry.

 

The young man looks back up at the **STRANGER**. A strained smile greets him. But there is no malice behind the young man’s dark eyes.

 

 **STRANGER** : We’re almost there, **CHITTAPHON**. You did well.

 


	25. ACT 25

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i know we have 30 days left until Christmas, but i really don't care rn, aight?

The automatic doors slide open, allowing for the passengers on the subway to get off and for others to get on. **TAEYONG** is among the many passengers who are exiting the subway.

 

He leaves the subway station, his heart a little heavy as he remembers the look on **JAEHYUN** ’s face when he finally rejected the other boy’s advances.

 

 

 

_He’s not stupid. He knows what this entailed when_ ** _JAEHYUN_** _asked him to go Christmas shopping with him at the mall._ Alone. _Sure, hide behind the excuse that_ ** _JAEHYUN_** _and_ ** _TAEYONG_** _left present shopping till the last minute, but_ ** _TAEYONG_** _doesn’t miss the stolen glances and the soft smiles_ ** _JAEHYUN_** _gives him as they flit from store to store._

 

_As if it wasn’t already bad enough though,_ **_TAEYONG_ ** _’s eyes widen comically when he spots a mistletoe hanging on the entrance of a clothing store. He and_ **_JAEHYUN_ ** _are caught under the doorway. The younger boy smiles sheepishly and scratches the nape of his neck before speaking up._

 

**_JAEHYUN_ ** _: Hyung, I—_

 

**_TAEYONG_ ** _: I’m sorry._

 

_He doesn’t know why he’s even saying sorry, or what even spurred such a reaction._ **_JAEHYUN_ ** _hadn’t done anything wrong. If he had taken out the fact that his childhood friend wasn’t being subtle about his crush on his hyung, then_ **_TAEYONG_ ** _would say the day was going smoothly and things were normal._

 

_But_ **_TAEYONG_ ** _isn’t blind because he’s not in love with_ **_JAEHYUN_ ** _._

 

**_TAEYONG_ ** _: I’m sorry, Jae. I don’t feel the same._

 

_And yet,_ **_JAEHYUN_ ** _is still so kind. There’s a flash of pain in his sweet, dark chocolate eyes. It pains him, and_ **_TAEYONG_ ** _can see that, because the younger boy’s smile is strained as he nods in understanding._

 

**_JAEHYUN_** _: I know you don’t. I… I think I’ve_ always _known, Hyung._

 

_Oh, but that makes it so much worse—_

 

**_TAEYONG_ ** _: I-I don’t… I don’t want things to change between us—_

 

**_JAEHYUN_** _: (Shaking his head)_ Nothing _is going to change._

 

**_TAEYONG_ ** _: You can’t promise that!_

 

**_JAEHYUN_** _: You’re right, I can’t. But you’re still my best friend before anything else. You’ve_ always _been my best friend. I wish I could be the one to make you smile and fill your heart with joy everyday, but if I can’t be that person, then that's okay. I can’t change your mind. And I want to see you happy, no matter what._

 

 

 

His phone rings as he walks. **TAEYONG** checks the caller ID and slides the “accept call” button to the right. He places the phone to his ear.

 

**TAEYONG** : Hello?

 

**DAEHYUN** : Hey kid, how was the mall?

 

**TAEYONG** : Hey, Hyung. The mall was fine.

 

**DAEHYUN** : I'm sensing a "but."

 

**TAEYONG** : **JAEHYUN** confessed. (He lets out a small giggle when he hears his older brother’s snort in reply)

 

**DAEHYUN** : What’d you tell him?

 

**TAEYONG** : That I didn’t feel the same.

 

**DAEHYUN** : (He gasps theatrically) My little brother finally got over his people-pleasing, “I have no backbone, so help me God” tendencies? Christmas _did_ come early!

 

**TAEYONG** : Oh my god, Hyung, stoooop. (He shakes his head)

 

**DAEHYUN** : So how’d he take it?

 

**TAEYONG** : I… feel a little guilty.

 

**DAEHYUN** : Damn, knew it was too good to be true.

 

**TAEYONG** : Hey, go easy on me! Do you know the Uniqlo next to the Happy Lemon? The archway entrance had a mistletoe on top. A damn mistletoe! Like what the fuck? I felt like the epitome of a panicked gay when I saw that shit!

 

**DAEHYUN** is howling with laughter on the other end, much to his younger brother’s disbelief.

 

**TAEYONG** : Oh my god, Hyung! Stop laughing! Do you enjoy seeing other people in pain? That’s some weird kinky shit going on, and I am _not_ into that.

 

**DAEHYUN** : (He ceases laughing instantly) Whoa, whoa, whoa! No need to put words in my mouth, brat. It’s not my fault the universe decided to fuck with you. (He ignores his younger brother’s muttering on the other line) Anyway, how’d he take it?

 

**TAEYONG** : (He pauses for a little bit) … He promised nothing would change for our friendship.

 

**DAEHYUN** : Do you believe him?

 

**TAEYONG** : I don’t know.

 

**DAEHYUN** : It’s okay to not know. But Yongie?

 

**TAEYONG** : Hm?

 

**DAEHYUN** : It’s **JAEHYUN**. He’s still the same kid who adores and looks up to you. It might be awkward now having to see him and be reminded that you rejected him, especially since he has been pining for you ever since y’all were coloring outside the lines in first grade arts and crafts, but what if you had continued to go along with the dates he kept planning for you two? You’d be leading him on. And I honestly think that’s worse than just being honest with him now and letting him know. (He pauses for a moment before he starts speaking again) I’m proud of you, you know.

 

**TAEYONG** : For?

 

**DAEHYUN** : For deciding not to run away, even if you were in peak panicked gay mode.

 

**TAEYONG** : (He laughs brightly into the receiver, shaking his head again) Thank you, Hyung.

 

**DAEHYUN** : Be safe walking home. Pops went out to go grocery shopping just now. Appa wants to add pork belly to the soft tofu stew for dinner tonight.

 

**TAEYONG** : Shit, that sounds _amazing_. I’ll definitely be there.

 

**DAEHYUN** : Better get here before **JONGIN** beats you to it. (He chuckles warmly) Bye kid. I love you.

 

**TAEYONG** : I love you too, Hyung. I'll see you when I get home. (He hangs up the phone)

 

His older brother’s words may be true, but it doesn’t erase the fact that **TAEYONG** still feels awful about rejecting his friend. **ASHER** would definitely be disappointed in him if his therapist were to look into his head right now. It’s all he thinks about during the walk home, until someone — _someone very familiar_ — crosses his line of vision.

 

He could never forget the **GOD OF TIME** ’s sharp, kohl-lined eyes.

 

**ZITAO** : It’s been a while.

 

**TAEYONG** : (He blinks twice) … I thought I’d never see you again.

 

The god, **ZITAO** , nods in understanding. He scans the immediate area around them before turning back to **TAEYONG**.

 

**ZITAO** : Your fathers aren’t expecting you for a couple more hours.

 

**TAEYONG** : I… (He sighs) I shouldn’t be surprised how you know this. (He plays with the hem of the long scarf wrapped around his neck) So what do you want?

 

**ZITAO** : There’s a cafe that serves amazing affogato.

 

**TAEYONG** : You want to get ice cream in this weather?

 

**ZITAO** : (He shrugs) It’s still coffee. It’s still sweet. And I’m paying.

 

**TAEYONG** : The last time we spoke, you sent me to the past on the shitty excuse that I ran you over with my car.

 

**ZITAO** : (Instead of getting upset, he surprises **TAEYONG** with a quirk of an eyebrow) So would you rather I withhold information about **YONG QIN**?

 

**_YONG QIN_ ** _?_

 

**TAEYONG** : (He gulps and makes an attempt to steel his voice into stability) Stop fucking with me. **YONG QIN** is gone and I’ve already accepted that.

 

Something that looks like pity creases the **GOD OF TIME** ’s pale face.

 

**ZITAO** : It doesn’t take a genius to figure out how much you miss him.

 

**TAEYONG** : But I don’t.

 

Because **TAEYONG** really doesn’t.

 

**ZITAO** : It’s okay to say you miss him.

 

But how long has it been since **TAEYONG** heard his name?

 

**TAEYONG** : … Lead the way.

 

If **TAEYONG** had been tearing up, **ZITAO** says nothing during their walk to the cafe.

 


	26. ACT 26

The cafe they enter smells like cinnamon. It’s warm with a bit of a kick, but it’s still a sweet smell that **TAEYONG** finds himself loving.

 

It’s who’s behind the register that has **TAEYONG** frozen.

 

 **SICHENG** : Welcome!

 

 **ZITAO** : (He switches to Mandarin Chinese) _Hey,_ ** _WINWIN_** _di_.

 

 **TAEYONG** : (He’s wide-eyed and his mouth is agape as he dumbly stands at the door) **S** … **SI** …?

 

 **ZITAO** : **_TAEYONG_** _di, can you get us a table? I’ll pay._

 

 **TAEYONG** : (He snaps out of his surprise and nods, also speaking in Mandarin Chinese) _Y-yes, ge._

 

The cafe isn’t very busy, so **TAEYONG** has no trouble securing a table. He picks the one nestled snugly in the corner because it has beanbags instead of chairs.

 

 **ZITAO** : (He returns after ordering) _The beanbags, they suit you._

 

 **TAEYONG** : _Did you know I would—? Wait. That’s a stupid question. Of course you would know I would pick it._

 

 **ZITAO** : (He shakes his head, and his low voice softens a tad) _I can see many possibilities, but I do not know which ones will lead to your future. Also, lower your voice. This conversation is between us only._

 

 **TAEYONG** nods and obediently lowers his voice. **ZITAO** moves the beanbag so that he is facing the human in front of him. Silence envelopes their corner. **TAEYONG** is too nervous to press for more information about **YONG QIN** ’s whereabouts. He summons as much courage as he can to ask, but **SICHENG** announces “One vanilla hot chocolate affogato and one hazelnut affogato for **TAO**!”

 

The god rises from his seat to retrieve the drinks from the pick-up counter. He returns with two bright red mugs.

 

 **ZITAO** : _I had forgotten that_ ** _ASHER_** _asked you to cut down on the caffeine, so I ordered hot chocolate at the last second._ (He places a hot chocolate with a large scoop of vanilla ice cream topped with whipped cream and chocolate shavings in front of **TAEYONG** )

 

 **TAEYONG** : (He takes the cup with both hands gratefully) _Do you just know everything?_

 

 **ZITAO** : _I know more than I would like to._ (He takes a sip of his own affogato)

 

 **TAEYONG** : _Like what happened to_ ** _YONG QIN_** _?_

 

 **ZITAO** : (He takes a sip of his affogato, licking off the mustache of whipped cream on his cupid’s bow) _You know, I had hoped you would look through those letters more carefully. I gifted you a very large hint about your past in this timeline, and you ignored it._

 

 **TAEYONG** : _What are you talking about?_

 

 **ZITAO** : Y _ou didn’t find it strange? That you can’t recall much from your memories except for very recent events?_

 

 **TAEYONG** opens his mouth to ask for elaboration, but he stops when he realizes that he indeed can barely remember much about his past, save for very important details. Yes, he can remember bits and pieces of his past, but he’s pretty sure he would have more memories in the 21 years he’s been alive. He can’t even remember what he did the days prior to his historical incident.

 

 **TAEYONG** : … _What did you do to my memories?_

 

 **ZITAO** : (He takes another sip of his affogato) _I was not responsible for erasing your memories._

 

 **TAEYONG** : _Are you saying that—_

 

 **ZITAO** : Lower _your voice,_ ** _TAEYONG_** _di._

 

 **TAEYONG** glares daggers at the god in front of him, a situation one would think they prefer they not find themselves in. **ZITAO** thinks if **TAEYONG** were born a god himself, perhaps he would be intimidating.

 

 **ZITAO** : … _It was necessary._

 

 **TAEYONG** : (His voice hisses venomously) _Like fucking hell it was._

 

 **ZITAO** : _How much do you know about_ ** _YONG QIN_** _’s life? Because you would know everything had you read those letters._

 

 **TAEYONG** : _He. Is. Gone._

 

 **ZITAO** : (He sighs) **_TAEYONG_** _di._ (He reaches over and squeezes the human’s hand gently but firmly) _I acknowledge the method I and my brothers used were unethical. But the way of the gods are archaic, and we cannot always be transparent about our ways for fear that we may be taken advantage of. You humans are more powerful than you think._

 

 **TAEYONG** ’s hand shakes even under the warmth and security of the god’s hand.

 

 **TAEYONG** : _What did you do?_

 

 **ZITAO** : (He shakes his head) _It’s not what I did, but what I stopped._

 

 **TAEYONG** : _Then what did you stop?_

 

 **ZITAO** : _History from repeating itself._ (Out of habit, he checks the clock) _I will have more than enough time to tell this story and get you back home in time for dinner with your family. But do not speak of this with anyone, or else all this work will have been for nothing._

 

 **TAEYONG** : _I won’t._

 

 **ZITAO** sighs, a forlorn look in his obsidian eyes.

 

 **ZITAO** : _I saved you from yourself._

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [twitter](https://twitter.com/yun19913)


	27. ACT 27

 

**_27 November 2013_ **

 

**_To whoever gets this letter,_ **

 

**_Hi! My name is Lee Taeyong, and I’m about to start my first year of high school in one month!_ **

**_I’m writing to you to because I want to improve my Chinese._ **

**_(Plus my teacher is making us do this assignment for the whole year anyway, so I figured I might as well get a head start.)_ **

**_I hope my grammar is okay? My first language is Korean,_ **

**_so I’m not sure if everything I’m writing is correct, but my writing is a lot better than my speaking._ **

**_My sister says I sound like I haven’t gone through puberty yet when I speak…_ **

**_(She’s so mean to me >.<)_ **

 

**_Anyway, that’s enough about me!_ **

**_I hope I get a reply from you soon!_ **

**_That is, if you want to reply back._ **

**_It’s okay if you don’t want to!_ **

**_No pressure or anything!_ **

 

**_Your pen pal (hopefully!),_ **

**_Lee Taeyong_ **

 

 

 

 

**_13 January 2014_ **

 

**_Taeyong,_ **

 

**_First, I want to apologize for not replying sooner._**

**_I was surprised to find your letter when I went to check the mail._ **

**_I swear I kept writing my reply to you, but then I would tear the paper to shreds._ **

**_I wanted to get my thoughts to you in the way I had hoped, but nothing seemed to fit._ **

**_Nothing still seems to fit, but I figured I should send it soon,_**

**_otherwise you might feel discouraged or rejected._ **

 

**_Your Chinese is really good._**

**_I speak to my grandparents in Chinese all the time, but I’m nowhere as good as you._ **

**_I also think it’s really cool that you’re doing this to improve your Chinese._ **

**_How long have you been learning?_ **

 

**_My name is Chittaphon Leechaiyapornkul._ **

**_My heritage is Chinese,_**

**_but my grandparents moved to Thailand when my grandma was pregnant with my dad._ **

**_You mentioned you have a sister too, right?_ **

**_I also have a sister, but she’s younger than me._ **

**_We’re close, but sometimes she gets annoying, haha._ **

**_Do you have any other siblings?_ **

 

**_—Chittaphon_ **

 

 

 

**_5 March 2014_ **

 

**_To Chittaphon,_ **

 

**_Wow, hi! It’s okay that you didn’t write back to me sooner._ **

**_I just can’t believe you actually replied to me at all!_ **

**_It really made my day after I finished my first day of school. It’s nice to meet you! ^_^_ **

 

 **_I think you flatter me on my Chinese!_ ** **_I’ve only been learning for about a year now._ **

**_I told you… my writing is better than my speaking, but I’m still nowhere as good as I want to be._ **

**_My papa corrected a lot of my mistakes. He’s fluent in Chinese!_ **

**_He speaks to me,_ ** **_my youngest brother, and my sister in Chinese a lot,_ **

**_but my other brothers don’t understand very well so he talks to them in Korean or Japanese._ **

 

**_Oh, I have three brothers and one sister, by the way._ **

**_I’m the middle child. I come from a pretty big family._ **

**_How about you? Is it just you and your sister?_ **

 

**_Talk to you soon,_ **

**_Taeyong_ **

 

 

 

 

**_10 May 2014_ **

 

**_Taeyong,_ **

 

**_About the introductions, the pleasure is all mine._**

**_I’m excited to learn more about my new friend._ **

 

**_I think you discredit yourself on your Chinese._ **

**_You still went from knowing nothing in Chinese to knowing how to read, write, and speak,_**

**_even if you don’t fully understand._ **

**_Are you the type to dwell on your mistakes?_ **

 

**_Yeah, it’s just me and my sister._ **

**_My grandparents as well, but my parents are no more._ **

**_I don’t wish to talk about my family situation right now,_**

**_seeing that we have only exchanged a few letters this far,_ **

**_but maybe I will tell you one day._ **

 

**_I don’t wish to end this letter on such a bitter note._ **

**_By the time you get this, you’d probably have your midterms, right?_ **

**_Well, if you have finals by the time you write back to me, good luck._ **

**_Study well. You can do it._ **

 

**_—Chittaphon_ **

 

 

 

 

 

 

**_15 July 2014_ **

 

**_Hey Chittaphon!_ **

 

**_Thanks for your letter. :)_ **

**_It really helped me get through my finals, and I get the results on my exams in a couple days._ **

**_I think I did well in everything, except for my Chinese class. The professor is strict, and spelling is so hard!_ **

**_I think it’s even harder than Korean!_ **

 

**_How did you know I was the type to criticize myself a lot?_ **

**_We haven’t been writing for a long time, but you already can tell what kind of person I am?_ **

**_Are you a wizard? (I’m sorry, that was so bad… ignore that… ^^;; )_ **

 

**_It’s perfectly okay that you don’t want to tell me about your family situation!_ **

**_It’s already brave of you to share just the small bit already, so don’t push yourself._ **

**_We can talk about other things. What do you like to do in your free time?_ **

**_My family loves music, so we all love to sing and dance._ **

 

**_Looking forward to your reply,_ **

**_Taeyong_ **

 

 

 

 

 

**_29 July 2014_ **

 

**_Taeyong,_ **

 

**_I’m glad I was able to lift your spirits about your finals._ **

**_I just finished classes, so now I have free time to talk to you more often._ **

 

**_Thank you for not pushing about my family situation._ **

**_It’s hard to talk about sometimes, but I feel comfortable around you._ **

**_I promise one day I’ll be able to tell you._ **

 

**_That joke was pretty bad._ **

**_It’s hard to ignore though when you didn’t bother crossing it out._ **

**_Think ahead next time, will you?_ **

 

**_It wasn’t hard for me to figure out that you criticize yourself._ **

**_You already downsize your achievements when praise comes your way._ **

**_Some people may see it as you being humble,_**

**_but if you do it often, then it’s depreciation._ **

**_Appreciate yourself and your achievements,_**

**_because you’re pretty amazing._ **

 

**_I love to dance when I have free time too._ **

**_Although I’ve been really busy these days, so my dancing skills are rusty._ **

**_I also love to draw when I’m not busy. Tern says I’m good, but she has to say that, haha._ **

**_I also enjoy singing and playing basketball._ **

 

**_I feel like I’ve talked more about myself, and I have yet to know more about you._ **

**_Tell me, what are your favorite foods? Favorite songs? Favorite color?_ **

**_I’m sorry if I seem overbearing, but I don’t have many friends,_**

**_and I always look forward to your letters._ **

 

**_—Chittaphon_ **

 

 

**____________ **

 

 

 

 **TAEYONG** has been exchanging letters with **CHITTAPHON** for almost six years now. His family didn’t stop him, even though his older brother had hesitations about the whole penpal ordeal. But it made **TAEYONG** happy to talk about the boy he had been writing to for the better part of a decade.

 

So when **TAEYONG** excitedly reported to his family that his penpal would be moving to Seoul for university, they were happy for him. Neither **YUNHO** nor **JAEJOONG** could recall a time when their son’s face lit up as much as it did when he discovered the boy from Thailand would finally be meeting his penpal.

 

The days leading up to **CHITTAPHON** ’s arrival was annoying for **TAEYONG** ’s siblings, but it made for _excellent_ teasing material.

 

 **JANG MI** : (She follows her younger brother into yet another clothing store) Yongie, don’t you think this is unnecessary? You’re just meeting your penpal, not going on a date. (She smirks conspiringly when **TAEYONG** ’s face flushes as red as his hair)

 

 **TAEYONG** : What? I can’t shop for clothes I want, Noona?

 

 **JANG MI** : Oh? I never said such a thing, **TAEYONG** -ah. It’s just… (She shrugs) This is _a lot_ of effort for a boy you’ve never met before.

 

 **TAEYONG** : So what if I’ve never met **TEN** before? He’s just as important to me as **JAEHYUN** and **DOYOUNG** are.

 

 **JANG MI** : Huh? Since when did you have a nickname for him?

 

 **TAEYONG** : Uh, if you bothered to pay attention, you would’ve known that his favorite number is ten and it started getting annoying for me to have to write out **CHITTAPHON** in Chinese all the time, so I’ve been calling him **TEN** for a while now. I wanna say this happened like almost a year ago.

 

 **JANG MI** : (She gives him a crooked smile and leans against a clothes rack where **TAEYONG** is plucking off a couple graphic t-shirts) You should hear yourself.

 

 **TAEYONG** : (He gives her a puzzled look) What do you mean?

 

 **JANG MI** : You sound like… like you’re _in love_.

 

 **TAEYONG** ’s grip on the shirts slacken and he looks at the floor. He blinks several times before facing his sister with glassy eyes and a struggling smile.

 

 **TAEYONG** : Stop joking, Noona. It’s not funny.

 

 **JANG MI** doesn’t bring up her brother’s little crush after that. She nabs both of the t-shirts in **TAEYONG** ’s arms and replaces it with [a whole new outfit](https://i.pinimg.com/originals/8f/7e/b7/8f7eb7ab960bbdeb4c92971474b6118f.jpg) — a crisp, scarlet jacket, a black button-up, and a pair of black ripped jeans. It fits her brother’s style well, and she knows she did something right when **TAEYONG** can’t stop looking at his reflection in the mirror in complete awe.

 

 **TAEYONG** is about to return the jacket and pants to their respective racks because the entire ensemble is far too out of his budget. However, **JANG MI** stops him from doing so, and **TAEYONG** almost cries when his older sister spends 3 of her hard-earned paychecks on his outfit. He promises to take her out to barbecue, to which **JANG MI** shakes her head.

 

 **JANG MI** : I just want to see you happy, **TAEYONG** -ah.

 

 

**__________**

 

 

 

 **TAEYONG** quit biting his nails a long time ago. It was a habit that he found extremely hard to quit, but he was proud of himself when he finally did stop. But watching the flight board for the past four hours has got him biting his nails again.

 

 **JONGIN** : Hyung, stop that, you’re overreacting. His flight got delayed, he’s not dead.

 

 **TAEYONG** : I can’t help it, **JONGIN** -ah. He can’t read Korean! What if he got lost? What if he goes through the wrong gate? What if—

 

“ **TAEYONG**?”

 

The air is knocked out of the boy’s lungs. **TAEYONG** stands there stupidly, his mouth agape as he takes in the boy in front of him.

 

 **TAEYONG** has tried to imagine his penpal’s appearance before, but nothing could have prepared him for **TEN** ’s [stunning looks](https://em.wattpad.com/e012ee9446ef36a926efee6bcb7a16664394bbf6/68747470733a2f2f73332e616d617a6f6e6177732e636f6d2f776174747061642d6d656469612d736572766963652f53746f7279496d6167652f70385f32496c4643374f53576b513d3d2d3434303337323430362e313464313161353363393930336262323332383735393135353632342e6a7067?s=fit&w=720&h=720). **TEN** is just a tad shorter than **TAEYONG** , which the latter had not expected but is not bothered by it. **TEN** ’s dark hair is effortlessly soft and fluffy, no indication that it was ruined at all from the flight. The light in **TEN** ’s obsidian eyes rivals that of the sun. And that wide, beautiful smile with perfectly straight teeth?

 

Sue him. **TAEYONG** is in love.

 

 **TEN** : (He speaks first, deciding they communicate to each other in Chinese)  _I finally can match the words on the paper to your face. And might I say, you have a pretty cute face._

 

 **TAEYONG** : (His face flushes to be as red as his hair, and he can feel **JONGIN** ’s questioning stare burning his back. He also replies in Chinese) _I—I, uh…_

 

 **TEN** beats him before **TAEYONG** can finish his first thought with a hug. The kind of hug where your crush’s arms are wrapped securely and protectively around your middle, and good god, those are **TAEYONG** ’s favorite kinds of hugs.

 

If **TAEYONG** didn’t have oxygen before, he’s certainly going to be deprived of it for the next year.

 

 **TEN** : (His voice is barely a whisper) _This isn’t a dream, right?_

 

 **TAEYONG** belatedly returns **TEN** ’s embrace, snaking his arms around the shorter boy’s shoulders. He buries his face into the junction between **TEN** ’s neck and his shoulder.

 

 **TAEYONG** : _If it is, I never want to wake up._

 


	28. ACT 28

The phone continues to ring, very much helping out **DAEHYUN** ’s growing anxiety.

 

_“I don’t need your fucking input right now, Jang.”_

 

_“You think you’re the only one worried?!”_

 

_“Kids, please stop fighting…”_

 

 **TAEYONG** hasn’t been responding to their messages for the entire day, which is unusual considering how close the family is to each other.

 

 _“It’s got to be that_ **_TEN_ ** _kid.”_

 

_“Hyung, that can’t be it though, I just saw him yesterday grocery shopping—“_

 

 _“Was_ **_TAEYONG_ ** _with him?!”_

 

 _“No, Hyung! Stop jumping to conclusions!_ **_TAEYONG_ ** _hyung has work during the day, you know this!”_

 

_“Then why can’t he just fucking text us or call us back during his break?”_

 

 **ZITAO** doesn’t need to watch anymore of this to know of this boy’s fate. With the 785 possible outcomes he had encountered (he was too lazy to look at the remaining 139 outcomes — he despised repetition), only 2 of them would turn out to be beneficial for them. But even then, it would not be possible without the poison that would kill **TAEYONG** bit by bit.

 

He looks at the pitiful scene adjacent to **TAEYONG** ’s panicking, bickering family members. **CHITTAPHON** has dropped the hammer in his arm, horror filling his face when he realizes that his once vibrant lover had collapsed on the floor. **TAEYONG** ’s naked body, once free of blemishes, is now littered with a multitude of ugly purple and blue bruises, scars from past injuries also dropping by to say hello. But the large jug of bleach that they were running low on, but was good enough for a few more loads of laundry, was toppled over. No product was found, but the obvious strain on his lover’s throat and mouth told the story right there.

 

 

**__________**

 

 

 

 **ZITAO** : Why the fuck is he here?

 

 **LU HAN** stands in front of a remorseful **CHITTAPHON** , as if the older god took on a new role as a shield.

 

(A quite effective shield also, since **ZITAO** would be unable to even throw the first punch.)

 

 **LU HAN** : He expresses regret, Taotao.

 

 **ZITAO** : I don’t give a rat’s ass if he’s willing to take **ATLAS** ’s place and hold up the Earth for the rest of eternity, he abused one of the only people who gave a shit about him and drove him to commit suicide!

 

 **LU HAN** ’s eyes flash with pain for a couple seconds. Then it’s morphed into something more sinister.

 

Almost bloodthirsty, even.

 

 **LU HAN** : So he did. But humans were never designed to be perfect beings, Taotao. And you forget your duty as a god that no matter how big the responsibility is, we are the same as them. _Flawed_.

 

The older god steps forward, and **ZITAO** bites his lip. By instinct he was ready to recoil back, but he refuses to let **LU HAN** have his way.

 

Not again.

 

 **LU HAN** : I think you forget who it is that taught you all you know now. I think you forget that once upon a time, you were just a little orphan boy with an absent mother and a father who passed before your third birthday. I think you forget that it was me who saved you all those years ago, and it was you who said _on your own accord_ that you would help those who deserved the help you never received.

 

When did **LU HAN** corner him against the wall?

 

 **LU HAN** : I never pushed you to become the next **GOD OF TIME**. I will gladly take up this position again if you asked me. I don’t know what happened to my sweet little brother Taozi, but you are not him. (He turns around and puts a hand on **CHITTAPHON** ’s shoulder, then he looks back at the younger god) How many people with pure hearts prayed to you, only for you to forsake them, **ZITAO**?

 

 

__________

 

 

 

 **ZITAO** : You understand that once you consent to this, you will be going by a new name, a new life, a new identity— (He turns around to look **CHITTAPHON** in the eye, only to be greeted with conviction) It’s not guaranteed that you will see **TAEYONG** again.

 

 **CHITTAPHON** : I’ll take that risk. Even if it’s to see him just for one day.

 

 

**__________**

 

 

 

 **ZITAO** : Why are you interfering?! Clearly he’s reincarnated as a new man, but he hasn’t changed one bit! He’s killed his siblings just for power! He isn’t anything but a selfish man!

 

 **YIXING** is a gentle soul. While he dislikes conflict and will do what he can to diffuse the situation and take care of it after all parties are at ease, he is no pushover.

 

Especially when it comes to the youngest god’s bullshit.

 

 **YIXING** : Perhaps the selfish one here isn’t **YONG QIN** , but you.

 

 

**__________**

 

 

 

 **YONG QIN** : Breathe, my Queen. I promise this will pass.

 

 **TAEYONG** : You can’t promise me shit, **YONG QIN**! We’re going to fucking die here! How the fuck are you not worried?!

 

 **YONG QIN** : Have faith. (He places something in the palm of **TAEYONG** ’s hand, then he wraps the other boy’s fingers securely around the object) I promise you that nothing will hurt you.

 

 **TAEYONG** : Stop making false promises—

 

 **YONG QIN** : I promise. (He stands up from where he kneels and gently cups **TAEYONG** ’s cheek) Close your eyes.

 

 **TAEYONG** : … Why?

 

 **YONG QIN** : Because I am going to kiss you. Unless you prefer to kiss someone with your eyes open?

 

 **TAEYONG** wants to fight, kick and scream because how can **YONG QIN** think of kissing him when they are seconds away from dying? But he doesn’t have the energy in him to do so, and he does as **YONG QIN** requests.

 

But the kiss never comes.

 

 **TAEYONG** feels something cold and heavy slip onto his left ring finger. **YONG QIN** ’s warm breath ghosts the shell of his ear.

 

 **TAEYONG** thinks he’s mishearing things.

 

 **YONG QIN** : (He leans forward, but he brushes past his lips and says in a low voice) Goodbye, **TAEYONG**.

 

 **ZITAO** , not a second too late, snaps his fingers and brings a disoriented **TAEYONG** back to his chambers. The **GOD OF TIME** takes off his hood and studies the pure shock on **TAEYONG** ’s face. Tears are bundled up in his eyes, his brows furrowed, and his mouth agape. The lack of reaction is surprising, but **ZITAO** thinks that the (former) Li queen isn’t even aware of his situation, or at least asking questions. Which is good for the god, this will make things easier on his part.

 

 **ZITAO** : (He makes his way towards **TAEYONG** and places a hand on his head) I’m sorry for not stepping in earlier when you needed it.

 

A dim glow emerges from the god’s palm, a small ring of light enveloping **TAEYONG** ’s head. He cries for **YONG QIN** as **ZITAO** ’s magic takes its effect.


	29. ACT 29

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For this chapter, italicized text when a character is speaking will be spoken in Mandarin Chinese. Sorry if that wasn't clear in previous chapters!

 

The tooth-achingly sweet affogato in his hand tastes sour to **TAEYONG** now. He feels like his senses have been petrified indefinitely after taking in the information supplied to him. **ZITAO** looks back at him, guilt coloring his dark eyes.

 

 **TAEYONG** : (His voice is barely a whisper) _So…_

 

 **ZITAO** : (His smile is weak as he sips more of his drink) _So?_

 

 **TAEYONG** : … _Did you raise me back from the dead or something? Is that a thing you can do?_

 

 **ZITAO** : (He scoffs) _Heavens, no. If I even so much entertained that idea,_ ** _PLUTO_** _would be eternally pissed at me for ruining the circle of life. Him and_ ** _ANUBIS_** _both, actually. I’m already on guard just thinking about it…_

 

 **TAEYONG** : _I… I don’t understand. How the hell am I even alive then?_

 

 **ZITAO** : (He looks down at his mug and squeezes the base of the ceramic) _I… placed myself at the point in time where everything began and destroyed all the possible outcomes that could have arisen from that event._

 

 **TAEYONG** : _You’re talking about the moment I met him at the airport?_

 

 **ZITAO** shakes his head.

 

 **ZITAO** : _It was promptly after you had received your last letter from_ ** _YONG QIN_** _._

 

 **TAEYONG** takes a sip of his now lukewarm affogato. He wills his throat to not throw it back up.

 

 **TAEYONG** : _His name isn’t actually_ ** _YONG_** **_QIN_** _, is it?_

 

 **ZITAO** : (He finishes the last of his affogato) _You already know his name because you read the letters._

 

The god takes his cup to the counter, where **SICHENG** thanks him and takes it to the back of the cafe to clean it. **ZITAO** rejoins **TAEYONG** at their little beanbag area.

 

 **ZITAO** : _Do you want me to finish the rest of your drink? I doubt you’ll be able to stomach anymore of it._

 

 **TAEYONG** nods gratefully. The god has no problem finishing the last of the sweet, thick liquid and places that cup on the counter. This time, someone else **TAEYONG** remembers takes the mug. The “stranger” behind the counter surprises him.

 

 **KUN** : _Come back soon!_

 

 **ZITAO** : _We will, thanks_ ** _KUN_** _di_!

 

The god offers to walk **TAEYONG** home once they exit the humble coffeehouse, to which he politely rejects. **ZITAO** nods in understanding, concluding that the mortal in front of him probably needs the time it takes for him to commute to process the heavy information. They say their farewells and part ways.

 

By the time **TAEYONG** gets home, he is greeted with the homely smell of gochujang and kimchi. His ears ring from the commotion his siblings cause as they welcome him home and dare to race him to the dining hall. He merely shrugs it off, saying that he doesn’t care if **JONGIN** beats him to the fried chicken and even offering his **DAEHYUN** hyung his slice of cheesecake for dessert. Four pairs of eyes looks at him with mild confusion.

 

 **JANG MI** : You sure, Yongie? You were out for a while. You must be really hungry.

 

 **TAEYONG** : Thanks, Noona, but I’m fine. I met up with someone before I came home and we had affogatos.

 

 **SAE GYEONG** : Oh, did you go to the new coffeehouse in Itaewon? I heard it was good!

 

 **TAEYONG** nods in affirmation. His siblings aren’t particularly nosy, but they are rather talkative and they like to be updated about each others’s lives. It’s a sentiment that **TAEYONG** appreciates, especially as he gets older, but at the moment, he is grateful when his dad calls for his kids to eat dinner. Three of his siblings take off, but **DAEHYUN** stays behind. **TAEYONG** meets his eyes.

 

 **DAEHYUN** : You’d tell me if something bothers you, right?

 

 **TAEYONG** plasters on the most convincing smile he can.

 

 **TAEYONG** : Of course, Hyung.

 

__________

 

 

 **_1_ ** **_6 February 2019_ **

 

**_Hey Ten,_ **

 

**_I hope you’re doing well. It’s been a while since I’ve written to you, but I just finished my first year of university. I can’t even begin to tell you how crazy the year has been, but it makes high school look easy._ **

 

**_I’m sorry if this letter is short, but I don’t have much to talk about… Actually, that’s not right._ **

 

**_It’s more like I have things I don’t want to talk about but I don’t want to share it on paper. I want to talk to you face to face about it. I look forward to your letters everyday, but there’s been everything and anything coming at me in one short year, and there’s only so much a piece of bleached tree bark can convey for me._ **

 

**_I wish you were next to me right no so you can hear me out._ **

 

**_From, Taeyong_ **

 

 

 

 

 

**_27 February 2019_ **

 

**_Taeyong,_ **

 

**_I hope you’re feeling better now. But even if you aren’t, I want you to know that’s okay. Please hold on a little longer because I also want you to know that you’ll be seeing me soon._ **

 

**_I just sent in my college applications to a couple universities in Korea. I’m hoping I can go to Yonsei just so I can see you, but if I can’t, then anywhere in Korea is okay. Just so long as I can meet a precious friend._ **

 

**_Please wait patiently for me. I’m not sure when you’ll get this letter, but I’ll be landing in Korea on March 3._ **

 

**_—Ten_ **

 


	30. FINALE

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1\. If a character speaks in italicized text, they are speaking in Mandarin Chinese
> 
> *"Please take care of me" = the Korean phrase said here is 잘 부탁드립니다 (jal boo-tag-deu-rib-ni-da)

 

It takes **TAEYONG** time to adjust to his life as usual, but he gets there. The holidays are filled with happiness and warmth. His fathers had organized a family trip to Singapore for Christmas, and then they arrived back in Seoul two days before they rang in the New Year. In January, **TAEYONG** hangs out with **DOYOUNG** more often to coax him into confessing to **JAEHYUN**. By February, **TAEYONG** is both delighted for his childhood friends but dreading being a third wheel.

 

Suddenly it’s March.

 

Time feels like it has slipped away from his fingers, and **TAEYONG** finds himself rushing to read through several syllabi, switch majors from biology to psychology and add a history minor, and running in every direction to get school supplies. (Also where did his laptop charger go? He’s going to have to talk to his siblings later about that.)

 

The first day of classes begins and **TAEYONG** finds himself already late to his Asian studies class (Why the hell did he think it was a good idea to enroll for a 9 am class when he gets up at 9?). He sneaks in through the back door and he is lucky enough to find an empty seat as soon as he’s inside the lecture hall. His professor makes sure he doesn’t go unnoticed though and she gives him the side eye. **TAEYONG** feels sheepish for his tardiness and bows apologetically to her in his seat. At least she doesn’t embarrass him in front of the whole class.

 

About ten minutes before the lecture ends, the door that leads to the front of the classroom creaks open. The professor has just finished up her introduction to the class and smiles warmly when the tall and again, very familiar guest makes his entrance.

 

 **PROF. KIM** : Everyone, let me introduce you to our Graduate Assistant. He will be this class’s TA, so if you have any questions, you can as either of us for help. Please introduce yourself.

 

A bright gummy smile blooms on the GA’s sculpted face.

 

 **KRIS** : Good morning, everyone. My name is **LI JIAHENG** , but you can call me **KRIS**. I was born in Guangzhou, China but then I moved to Canada when I was about nine or ten, then I went back to China and graduated from Guangzhou University. When I was an undergrad, I double majored in English Studies and History, and now I’m currently studying at Yonsei for my Master’s in International Studies. Please take care of me*.

 

There’s a polite applause at the end of **YIFAN** —no, **KRIS** ’s introduction. But all **TAEYONG** can do is dumbly look at the tall man and just… gape. The [palace guard](https://i.pinimg.com/236x/2f/e1/35/2fe13510e275deced047ec1322c86bb7.jpg) he became acquainted with months before is not [the man standing at the front of his Asian studies class](https://i.pinimg.com/236x/01/86/22/0186224bbe40330493b3589558825677.jpg). Gone is the long, sleeked back high ponytail and he instead sports a short, professionally dyed platinum blonde, haircut that is effortlessly tousled. The heavy layers of armor are now replaced by designer jeans and an expensive brand name gray blazer.

 

Even if bringing back the dead was out of his power, just how on Earth did **ZITAO** manage to do it anyway?

 

 **KRIS** nods in general directions and smiles politely at the plethora of students. His eyes glaze over everywhere until he stops at a familiar bushel of bright red hair.

 

 **TAEYONG** locks eyes with him.

 

**__________**

 

 

 **TAEYONG** : _If you’re here, then is--?_

 

 **KRIS** doesn’t wait for him to finish his question and just nods. He scoots over and adds a bubbling bowl of soft tofu stew to his tray. **TAEYONG** copies him and they both move the lunch line along. **TAEYONG** is about to pull out his credit card, but **KRIS** beats him to it.

 

 **KRIS** : _Lunch is on me today._

 

 **TAEYONG** : … _Thank you._

 

 **KRIS** nods again, this time in acknowledgement of **TAEYONG** ’s gratitude. They take their seats at a corner table. The older man speaks quietly.

 

 **KRIS** : _You have questions, don’t you?_

 

 **TAEYONG** : _So many._

 

 **KRIS** : _Eat first. **YIXING** made me promise him that I would make sure you ate._

 

They eat in silence for the first half of their meal, save for the sounds of slurping and chopsticks hitting the edges of their rice bowls. After a while, **KRIS** speaks up.

 

 **KRIS** : _Ask away._

 

 **TAEYONG** : _Is **YONG QIN** …?_

 

 **KRIS** nods again.

 

 **KRIS** : _I can’t really go into too much detail about **ZITAO** ’s power, but he really undermines his own abilities. He brought… a lot of us back, actually, but I don’t think he brought back everyone’s memories. Weren’t you there with him when you went to that coffeehouse in Itaewon?_

 

It’s not actually a question.

 

 **TAEYONG** : … _Yeah._

 

 **KRIS** : _But **SICHENG** and **KUN** didn’t recognize you either._

 

 **TAEYONG** nods belatedly.

 

 **KRIS** : … _Come on. Finish your food. We gotta be somewhere soon. It’s important._

 

 **TAEYONG** looks at him, slightly bewildered at the sudden urgency in the elder’s tone. He doesn’t question it though, because his stomach grumbles at him to finish the rest of the food while it’s still warm because March in Korea is still cold as shit.

 

When they finish their meals, **KRIS** leads him to the student lounge. Honestly, **TAEYONG** had forgotten this part of their campus existed up until now. The student lounge is a nice, spacious area that is connected to the library, but it unlike the library, the student lounge allows food. It doesn’t stop other students from smuggling food into the library, but the student lounge is the safer option if you wanted to avoid getting into trouble, and **TAEYONG** is reminded of the on campus study lounge.

 

A large room with multiple hallways lined with shelves on shelves of books. Light streams generously in from the open windows, and, cliché as it is, soft pink cherry blossoms gently drop down from their branches and land on the edges of the nearest tabletops.

 

But amidst the pretty sight of so many books, **TAEYONG** ’s eyes land on the most beautiful sight of all.

 

 **KRIS** : Hey, there you are!

 

They make their way towards him.

 

 **KRIS** : I want to introduce you to someone. (He looks behind him and pushes **TAEYONG** in front of him) This is—

 

“ **TAEYONG**.”

 

The owner of the name feels a lump in his throat. He attempts to swallow it, but the lump only comes back tighter and heavier in his throat. The shorter boy rises from his seat and stands in front of him.

 

“I’m sorry, but I have a lot of names. My Korean name is **LEE YOUNG HEUM**. My Thai name is **CHITTAPHON LEECHAIYAPORNKUL**. For those who are close to me, they know me as **TEN**. But my birth name is **LI YONG QIN**. Take your pick which name you want.”

 

It takes all of **TAEYONG** ’s strength to not tackle him to the ground and beat him up for leaving him the way he did. But it takes even greater strength for him to not fall apart and drag him into a bone-crushing hug.

 

But this handsome, familiar stranger not only beats him to it, but he one-ups him. **TAEYONG** feels a firm but gentle hand on the nape of his neck pulling him closer. He suddenly feels conscious and whips his head around to look to **KRIS** for help, only to find the tall man is long gone. The other students in the lounge are painfully oblivious, too deep into their music or games or YouTube videos or just chatting with their friends. The boy in front of him brings **TAEYONG** back to look into his beautiful, dark chocolate feline eyes. He takes a shaky breath, hoping that his voice will come out more stable than his shaky legs.

 

 **TAEYONG** : _I missed you, **YONG QIN**._

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> that's it! thank you to everyone for sticking around! but don't be too sad, because this isn't the last time you've seen this AU ;)


End file.
